It Doesn't Have To Be Weakness
by PuzzlingApples
Summary: Clarke had left, she didn't know where in the world to go, but when her body took her straight to the Grounder Camp she knew she needed to confront Lexa. She didn't know whether she wanted to punch her bloody for leaving her or pull her in by her armor and kiss her senseless. But either way she needed her.
1. Chapter 1

They won.

She had gotten her people back, but at what cost? She had killed so many people, irradiated a whole population to save her people, but as much as she hated herself for it she knew she made the right decision. They wouldn't have stopped, if they didn't have her people they would have continued to take Grounders despite the deal. She did the right thing.

It was early morning, the sun was just beginning to rise through the trees and Clarke watched as streams of light started filling the hollow tree she had found the night before. The light, finding its way through the small holes in the wooden ceiling, they looked like stars against the dark backdrop. She watched as they danced with the changing angles and let her mind wander back and forth between what has happened and what would happen now.

Everything had changed. She had left Camp Jaha and didn't know what to do now. She couldn't look at them every day. She was so happy that they were back and alive, and she mourned the deaths of her friends that had been taken, but she couldn't look at them. It reminded her to much of the decisions she made.

What was she going to do now? What could she do? Why was she even in this situation, they could have fought, they could have taken out the dam and gotten their people out, the plan would have worked!

Clarke's mind raced with every possible other outcome that would have saved those people, her mind was spinning and at this point; the dancing stars of light were making her dizzy. She turned her body away, moving to her side and gripping onto her jacket that she used as a pillow as the thoughts continued.

 _It shouldn't have happened like this. I didn't have to happen like this. Why did you have to take the stupid deal! Why would you leave me like that!_

 _"May we meet again."_

Clarke's mind halted in its tracks as Lexa's words echoed through her. Lexa, the Commander who led with her, who agreed to this alliance, who gave up resources, warriors, and so many other things just to protect the Sky People; to protect her. The Commander who had betrayed her to save her own people, the woman whom cared about her, the girl who made a decision.

She was a leader first and foremost and that meant making tough calls. As much as the blonde hated her for leaving and for making a deal, she understood it. She understood why Lexa did it, the Commander never acted unless she thought it was best for her people. _Her_ people, not anyone else's, that's where her duties lied, they had to survive and you did what you had to. Lexa had always told her that being a leader meant doing things that would hurt others, but save your people. Clarke did the same thing she made a choice that hurt so many, but saved her own.

Clarke couldn't help but let her mind run through its course of thoughts on Lexa. She cared about her, that much was certain and she knew that despite everything, she knew Lexa cared too. She thought about their kiss, how gentle it was compared to the rough exterior that was the Commander; how much emotion could be conveyed in one action and how that action could seemingly erase all the reality that surrounded in that moment.

Involuntarily, Clarke traced her own lips remembering the feeling from a few days prior. Then she was reminded of what happened after the kiss after she had said that she wasn't ready yet. She thought about the look in Lexa's eyes when she returned that night. Blood spattered across her face as she told about the deal. Clarke was so shocked in that moment that she didn't have a chance to focus on how much this hurt the other woman. Now, however, she couldn't get that apologetic, but non-remorseful look out of her mind.

After attempting and failing to clear her mind, Clarke made her way out of the tree and into forest. With no destination in mind, she simply walked.

It seemed like hours until she finally stopped. She heard something in forest in front of her. She smelled the smoke of camp fire and heard the bustling of voices. _It can't be._ She thought. Had her body actually taken her to the Grounder's camp? She moved forward a bit more and peered around a tree spotting guard on patrol.

She scoffed at herself. Of course she had ended up here, out of every place she could have walked to she unknowingly walked into the make shift camp of the Grounder army that had left her. Then her mind stopped again with a single familiar thought. Lexa.

Clarke wanted to confront the Commander, she wanted to punch her bloody for leaving, but at the same tie she wanted to kiss her and tell her she understood. Before her mind had time to decide, she started walking towards the guard, she recognized him from the time she spent among them, his name was Salvador. Clarke didn't try to hide her approach, he looked at her and recognized her immediately.

"ai souda hon op Heda (I have to find the Commander)" she spoke. Her Trigdasleng wasn't the best and she hoped the message got across. The man simply nodded, a bit hesitant but started back towards the camp as Clarke followed. Making their way through the camp quite quick, however when people noticed her they stopped and stared for a moment. Then the man stopped in front of Indra and got her attention. The look on her face when she saw Clarke was fairly surprised, after their retreat she thought the Sky Girl wouldn't be seen here.

"How can I help you Sky Girl?" she said in her usual irritated tone towards Clarke.

"I came to speak to the Commander."

Indra let out what could only be defined as a mix between a groan and a sigh, "The Commander is not at camp, Clarke of the Sky People, but she has left orders that if you were to seek her to take you to her."

Clearly this was not what the warrior had in mind for her morning and Clarke could tell. She felt a little bad for interrupting the older woman's day, but she needed to talk to Lexa. Indra then started walking away calling for Clarke and to follow suit; briskly following Indra to the stables to fetch horses the blonde couldn't help but wonder where the Commander was, it wasn't like her to be away from camp.

After several minutes of riding the recognition of the forest slowly started to fade. They had climbed one of the hills that surrounded the camp, a place that Clarke had never been before. She looked around and took in the new scenery. It was refreshing; something new. She took all of it in, letting the sun warm her skin through the scattered tree canopy. This was a luxury to her, she hadn't been able to just relax with the sun on her face for so long, it felt so peaceful. But she needed to figure out what she would even say to Lexa, where should she start? Should she yell at her, let her explain, or grab her by her armor and kiss her senseless and let everything just melt away. _Yeah that last one probably isn't a good idea._ She thought as she let out a sigh. What if Lexa didn't even want to see her, this was a mistake.

She was taken out of her thoughts when Indra came to an abrupt halt in front of two warriors Clarke recognized to be some of Lexa's personal guard. They she dismounted and the older woman began talking in Trigedasleng again. Clarke may not be completely fluent at the language yet, but she did know enough to tell that the woman's irritation was higher than ever and she was more than certain the woman called her something along the lines of idiotic squirrel but she wasn't entirely sure.

Indra turned back to her, "The Commander is through there," she pointed through the thick line of trees. Without another look, the woman was back on her horse and riding away.

Clarke became determined to confront Lexa, she had to this wasn't a mistake that she ended up here. She heard something as she approached what seemed to be the edge of the tree line that sounded like rushing water, and curiosity came to join determination at the forefront of her mind. As she pushed her way through the trees; she finally came to an opening, and stopped dead in her tracks.

It was breathtaking. The trees surrounded a clearing full of colorful, blooming flowers whose colors were so bright they didn't seem real. The trees and grasses themselves seemed much greener, much more alive here than in any other part of the forest. At the center of the clearing was a small lake that gleamed like magic. The water was amazingly beautiful, with shades of blue growing deeper and more radiant as they circled to the center and got so clear like glass at the edges. Clarke's eyes followed as the glass water flowed out in streams that sprawled out from so many different directions. The light caught her eyes as it danced on the lake top, just like it did as stars on tree earlier but these were so much more these were like comets streaking through the sky.

Clarke let a breath she didn't realize she was holding as she look at the back of the lake, the sound of the rushing water was coming from a magnificent waterfall. Its waves tumbled down to meet the lake below with a puff of steam at every connection. The steam rolled out over the lake and slowly dispersed, but more steamed to radiate from the top where the comets of light still danced. The air around her was so warm and thick, the smell was something new. It was fresh, full of wildflowers and other flora that seemed to be enhanced by the heat.

Clarke's eyes moved slowly around taking in every sight and savoring it until her eyes fixated at the bottom of the waterfall. Lexa was standing in the waist deep water at its base, the waves of water and steam falling over her bare back. She was gripping onto the stones of the back cliff, completely unaware of Clarke's presence. Clarke felt a blush start to rise up through her neck and cheeks as she took in the sight of the woman before her. Lexa may be a brutal and rational commander usually donning war paint covered eyes and armor clad shoulders, but there was no denying that she was a beautiful woman. All of Clarke's anger towards the other girl disappeared as she gazed across the lake. Lexa's hair was slicked back, the dark waves of her wet hair resting on her shoulders and disappearing in front of her. Her muscles were tensed with the grip of holding on against the water pressure, but relaxed at the massaging heat. Clarke's eyes wandered down across the Commander's back, taking in every curve of defined muscle, every visible scar, and the dark bluish black of the intricately knotted ink lines that decorated her form. She was mesmerizing and Clarke just wanted to touch her, feel her, let everything fade away.

Without noticing Clarke took a few steps forward and crunched a twig under her boot. This got Lexa's attention and she quickly whipped her head around her shoulder, clutching her arms around her chest. She was shocked to see the blonde standing there. After announcing her decision, the look in Clarke's eyes was one of such hurt and anger at the betrayal that, even though she hoped, she thought that she would never see that face again.

She was silent for a few moments her eyes searching the other girl's face and figure to make sure that she was actually real.

"Clarke."


	2. Chapter 2

"Clarke." Her voice was just a whisper and Clarke could only read her lips. Slowly Lexa moved down into the water and swam towards the edge, following the fading blue. When she came to the edge, Clarke could feel the blush on her cheeks get redder as she tore her eyes away from the incredibly naked woman in front of her. Lexa reached for a body length cloth that rested on a rock at the edge and wrapped in around her, her eyes never leaving Clarke.

She didn't know what to say, she thought that she had at least some idea of how she wanted to confront Lexa, but now actually standing in front of her, her mind was completely blank. The silence lasted for several minutes between them, neither sure how this was going to go, until Lexa spoke up.

"You've worked on your stealth training, I did not notice you until you stepped on the twig, you could use more training to focus on your surroundings."

Clarke huffed, "That's how you start this off? Criticizing my training?"

Lexa didn't reply simply looked at her, her lips curving just the slightest before fading. She looked so young now, still putting up the emotionless façade of the Commander, but here like this she looked almost vulnerable. Besides the fact that she was just standing in a towel, her hair and skin still dripping from the water, there was a look in her eye that Clarke noticed it reminded her of the look she had before their kiss, and also of the look when she walked away at the mountain; hesitant.

Clarke looked down and closed her eyes she had come here for a reason she needed to know why Lexa did it. An actual explanation from her, even though Clarke already knew, she needed to hear it. She looked back and met Lexa's gaze and tightened her jaw.

"Why?" she let out through gritted teeth. Lexa opened her mouth as if to reply, but Clarke simply continued anger starting to bubble beneath the surface.

"You left! You could have stayed and fought! The plan would have worked! We would have gotten _both_ of our peoples back. It would have worked we could have gotten the door opened again, but you- you took a deal? How could you do that? How could you just leave and take your army with you! You're the Commander and you needed to save your people I get it, but why did you have to sacrifice mine to do it? Why couldn't you have just helped me? Stayed with me?"

She was yelling at this point, she felt the sting of tears forming behind her eyes but she fought them back. She needed Lexa to say it, she needed Lexa to tell her that she cared, but it was best call because Clarke knew it was. She was angry. Angry at Lexa, at herself, at what she did, at the whole situation and she needed a vent. It was like a realization to her when she finished her words and looked at the stoic figure in front of her. This is why she left, this is why she ended up standing in front of the brunette leader, Lexa was the only one who understood what she was feeling; the torture of knowing you killed so many to save your own, the burden that is inevitably placed on the shoulders of a young leader.

Lexa understood and Clarke needed her.

After several silent moments, neither gaze leaving the other Lexa took a step forward so she was right in front of Clarke. Her gaze was intense, but different than how it was when she was being Commander, Clarke had never seen this look before.

"Clarke, like I told you, I did what I had to do to save my people. Yes I left, I took the deal, _I_ left you alone. That is what I had to do as a leader. And it is what you would have done if you were in the same position. I knew you would get your people back, Clarke. I knew that no matter what it took you do what you needed to in order to survive. You are a leader, you've made tough calls before Clarke to save you people. You made a decision to burn 300 of my warriors to save them. I would not have made the deal if I did not know with utter certainty that you would succeed."

Clarke just stared, the intensity never leaving Lexa's eyes. "I killed them. I killed all of them inside that mountain. I-I shot Dante Wallace just to prove a point!" her voice broke and it got softer to just above a whisper, "I wouldn't have had to do that if you did take the deal."

Lexa's jaw tightened, "Like I told you Clarke, I made the decision with my head not my heart. You had to do the same. That's what we do, as leaders, we make decisions despite what our hearts and feelings are screaming at us. No matter how much we want to do anything just to protect the people we care about most. What you did, you did to survive, it's as simple as that. You survive or you die." She took another step towards the blonde whose eyes were shimmering with tears just behind the surface.

"I do care for you Clarke, you know I do, but having feelings for one person does not save the lives of your people. I need you to understand that Clarke." It was barely above a whisper, her gaze burning holes into Clarke. She needed the blonde to understand why she did it. She needed her to understand that she does care for her, but she is a leader.

Clarke let out a broken sigh and looked down at the ground, "I do understand. I do I-I just never thought it would end up like this. I don't fault you Lexa, as much as I want to hate you for leaving as much as I want to blame you for making me kill all of those people. I can't , I don't know what to do. A part of wants to never see you again and another wants nothing more than to tell you I'm ready, but I'm stuck and I don't know where to go, but you're only one that understands."

Clarke looks up to meet Lexa's eyes again. They were softer, less intense there was a sense of compassion in them. She didn't say anything, but she looked down at Clarke's trembling hands. When she turned her focus back to the blonde's eyes, the still wet haired and towel clad Commander simply reached out and pulled the blonde towards her in an embrace.

Clarke stiffened at the sudden gesture, shocked, she wasn't sure was happening for a moment. Lexa was trying to be comforting, they were utterly alone in this magical place and Clarke wrapped her hands around the other girl and held her like she was only thing holding her together. Once she was firmly in Lexa's embrace Clarke lost it, she let everything out every emotion that had been pent up within her since she landed on the Ground. She had never been able to simply cry. She knew that this was weakness in Lexa's culture, but she didn't care. She sunk into the embrace burying her head into the crook of the Commander's neck her tears simply fading into damp skin.

Lexa just held her for several minutes. She was letting Clarke do something she wished she could on many occasions, simply lose herself. She had become so hardened, especially after the death of Costia, but at this moment she felt herself start to give into the emotion she usually blocked out. Clarke had lost trust in her she knew that she also knew that Clarke cared for just as much as she did for the blonde. Right now, none of that mattered and she pushed the thoughts to the side and moved one hand up to cradle the back of Clarke's head slowly stroking the girl's hair to offer some comfort.

Clarke reminded her of herself when she first became Commander, even though she was not much older than the blue eyed girl in her arms. She had wanted to do just this, Costia had been her strength, her shoulder to cry on in the seldom amounts of privacy they had. But when Costia had been killed she didn't have those private moments anymore, but Clarke she was slowly bringing those back.

After several minutes Clarke regained some of her composure and instantly blushed when she realized that she was latching onto a practically naked Lexa, feeling the other woman's body through the thin cloth towel. She pulled back from the embrace and wiped her tear stained cheeks. She looked at Lexa who still had one hand on the back of her neck and the other still wrapped around her back, the brunette's eyes were filled with the most emotion that Clarke had ever seen from her. Compassion, anger, apology, regret, caring, fear and so many more.

Clarke moved one hand to Lexa's bare shoulder tracing a finger over a fresh wound that must have been made during the battle. She was barely touching the other woman, her fingers ghosting over the rippled pink flesh and trailed it from her outer arm to her collarbone. The smallest of gasps left Lexa's lips as Clarke's fingers moved over skin, hot against damp skin. Clarke looked up and met Lexa's gaze, she felt the tears start to come back behind her eyes. She wanted her, she wanted everything with her, but she didn't know how to trust her at this point because she was still angry.

Lexa's forest green eyes flickered over Clarke's face searching for something, some hope to give her permission to kiss the other woman again. She had longed to do it again since the end of their first kiss, but she knew what Clarke was feeling.

The tension between them was as thick as the steam that crashed between the waterfall and lake behind them. Clarke was wanted to give in wanted to forget everything but Lexa and this feeling. Before she could think any more about it, there was a rustling of leaves and cracking twigs.

They immediately broke apart as if the other was on fire, Lexa clutching the towel to her chest as she became the Commander once more. One of her personal guards had moved forward and stood not looking at the two.

"Chit? (What?)" Lexa almost growled.

"There are people at the camp asking for you Heda. They are Skaikru." The guard said meeting her gaze

Lexa turned her attention to Clarke who looked as confused as she was.

"Bants oso (Leave us). We will join you for return in a moment."

The guard simply nodded and walked away. Lexa turned back to Clarke, her façade falling as she met her gaze. She moved a hand up and brushed a fallen blonde curl behind Clarke's ear. Clarke gave a weak smile and was pleasantly surprised when it was returned. She realized then that she loved it when Lexa smiled. To see a happy emotion and nothing else form the other leader.

Clarke turned around as Lexa dressed until she tapped on Clarke's shoulder to let her know that she was decent. Clarke took in the sight of Lexa, dressed in a similar outfit to what she wore when they were trapped with the gorilla. She looked so strong, so confident with metal and leather. Her hair was still wet and she pulled it back with a simple leather tie.

"Your friends are probably looking for you. How long have you been gone?" Lexa said as they began to move away from the beautiful scene.

"Since the morning after the battle, I never went into camp. I couldn't face them it just reminded me of everything I've done." Clarke was looking down as she spoke, but she could feel Lexa's neutral gaze on her. "They probably think you did something to me." Clarke let out a little laugh.

Lexa stopped then placing a hand on Clarke's bicep. A small smile formed on her lips, but faded into a more serious expression. "Clarke, I would never do anything to you. You know where I stand when it comes to you. I know it will take time, but I need you to understand that if I could choose with my heart, my decisions would be drastically different."

Clarke placed a hand over Lexa's and gave her a small smile. Her heart was ready, but her mind was still working through betrayal.


	3. Chapter 3

The ride back to camp was fairly quiet. One guard rode in front, Clarke and Lexa on their horses in the center, and the second guard at the rear. Lexa was neutral as usual on the outside, but her mind was racing thinking about the conversation that had just passed between her and the Sky Girl whom she was dangerously weak towards.

She hadn't felt this way since Costia, but this was something different. Her relationship with Costia had been young, it had been thrust through the perils of her becoming Commander. Costia never fully understood, she was a tether to her former life and she loved that. She was warm when everything else was cold, allowed Lexa to escape her responsibilities and return to being just a young woman. Clarke on the other hand was different and the same all in one. Clarke was stubborn and moralistic just like Costia, but she understood in ways that were much different.

There was just something that pulled Lexa to her. On one occasion she thought about the possibility that maybe Costia's soul had found and influenced Clarke in some way and that's why there were so many similarities. Lexa's lips quirked into a small smile at the thought; if that was true then of course Costia would find the one person who was just as stubborn and adorably irritating as she was.

Lexa's smile faded though, Costia was killed because of her because her enemies wanted to know everything about her and hurt her while her leadership was new. She had been killed because Lexa had loved her. As much as Lexa wanted to move forward with Clarke, as much as she felt for the young blonde she was not going to let Costia's fate become Clarke. She was not going to give in to temptation and everything that her heart so badly wanted her too, she couldn't.

Not again.

Clarke watched the scenery again as they rode. Letting the relaxation take over again, the soft breeze fluttering her hair around her cheeks, out of the corner of her eye she saw Lexa smile. She was glad she hadn't turned back. She didn't know what was going to happen now, or if that conversation was enough for her anger to get closure, but it would have to do for now. She didn't' want to go back to Camp Jaha and knowing that some of her people were at the Gruonder's camp she knew that that's what they wanted her to do. She needed time and maybe that time was to be spent with Lexa she didn't know.

She pushed the though away and began to focus on the green forest around them. "What was that place? With the waterfall?" she asked breaking the silence.

Lexa looked over, clearly still in thought. "We call it a healing pool. The waters are hot and help soothe warriors after battle."

"It was beautiful. It seemed so much different from everything else." Clarke's eyes shined with the remembrance of the beauty.

"Yes it is. There are several around in the hills." She looked away from Clarke and motioned towards a few different areas on the horizon then moved her gaze back to the curious blonde. "but that is the only one that I have found with a waterfall. It's also the no one that one else goes too so it's always private. I go there to think sometimes if I am in the area, get away from the commotion of camp." 

"Commander Lexa, leader of the Trigedakru, actually relaxing? I didn't think that was possible for you." Clarke teased and Lexa shook her head.

"Not often enough." She replied to Clarke who was now smiling. She like seeing this Clarke, happy and carefree, not plagued by death as they so commonly were.

The rest of trip was fairly short and comfortably silent. As they approached the camp and let their horses at the stables they heard shouting coming from the war room tent.

"I am not going to ask you again! Where. Is. My. Daughter." Clarke heard her mother's voice radiate from the tent.

The two women walked into the tent and instantly all eyes were on them. Abby rushed forward and practically pulled Clarke away from being anywhere near Lexa. "Oh honey, are you okay?" she said with relief in her voice.

"Yeah Mom I'm fine." Clarke said pulling herself out of her mother's grasp. "What are you doing here?" she looked around to see Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, and Kane who had joined Abby.

"We came to bring you back honey. When you didn't come back to camp I thought that something had happened to you." Abby tried to explain. Clarke looked to Bellamy with confusion.

"I told them that you needed time to yourself." He said apologetically.

Clarke turned back to her mother. "Nothing happened to me Mom. I'm fine. Like Bellamy told you I needed time to myself after well everything."

"I know that Clarke. But I don't want you making a bad decision while you are mourning everything that happened." Abby glanced back at Lexa who was still standing towards the entrance of the tent. "I don't want you doing something you will regret after all of the betrayal that has happened."

Clarke pulled back, understanding what her mother was saying. She didn't want Clarke here. With Lexa.

"Why I'm here, has nothing to do with me making a _bad_ decision. I'm here because I want to be because I needed to talk to Lexa. What did you think that I was kidnapped and taken here against my will?' she felt her anger coming back. Was her mother really being this ridiculous? Clarke knew that Lexa and her mother along with the other people who accompanied her were not going to be best friends anytime soon, but to honestly believe that Lexa would do anything to her was absolutely bewildering.

She looked around to meet the other's gazes to see if they felt the same way as her mother. All of them but Bellamy shared a similar expression of intent. "Clarke, you are needed back at Camp Jaha, that's where you belong with your people you just saved." Kane was the one to speak up.

She looked back at Raven and Octavia who now held neutral expressions. They wanted Clarke back, but they didn't realize that Abby assumed that Clarke had left against her will.

Before another word could be spoken a guard came into the tent. Clearly realizing that he was interrupting something he immediately turned towards the still silent Lexa.

"Heda, the eastern patrol caught someone trying to get into camp. One of the patrol guards recognized him to be maunon."

Lexa instantly turned agitated, "A mountain man?" she turned to Clarke who looked just as shocked as the people around her. "You said they were all killed. Was there any that escaped?"

Clarke quickly processed this, "I don't know. It's possible the only people who might have escaped were Cage and Emerson."

"Cage is dead." Octavia corrected, "Lincoln took care of him."

Lexa's eyes focused back from Octavia to Clarke. "Emerson."

"The one you made the deal with." Abby words pierced through like daggers. Lexa met her gaze and held it with equal intensity. Without another word, Lexa turned her back and followed the guard out. Clarke gave one last look to her mother, she was going to have to deal with this later then followed.

They walked to the center of the camp where two guards held Carl Emerson with rope tied around his wrists. He had a smug look on his face that Clarke wanted to punch off _. I should have killed him when we had the chance._ She thought. She wondered why he was here, the deal that he made with Lexa was pretty much null at this point since he was the only one left. So why would he come to the one place where he would be killed.

"Why are you here?" Lexa asked, her tone very neutral even though she did not trust the man.

The smug smile grew, "I'm here to make another deal with you."

"You have nothing my people nor myself need." Lexa responded

"You are very wrong about that, you see I have information that would very helpful to you regarding one of the clans in your Coalition." He tried to take a step forward but was instantly pulled back by the guards at his side.

Lexa was silent for a moment, contemplating when Clarke spoke to her in whisper. "You can't trust him, you know that. He's probably lying." Lexa looked at Clarke knowingly. She knew the man before her had an alternate agenda, she could feel it but she didn't know what it was yet and that is the only reason why he was still alive.

Lexa's gaze flickered around the circle of people. The Sky People stood around them, clearly trying to hold back their anger towards the man in question. Something was going to happen, you could feel it in the air.

Focusing her gaze back on Emerson, Lexa spoke, "You have nothing my people or myself need and it was foolish for you to come here." She turned to the guards. "Frag em op (Kill him)."

The guards instantly started pulling Emerson towards the edge of camp, but he fought them and within seconds was out of his restraints. He punched one guard in the face and elbowed the other in the stomach catching them off guard.

Everything was happening so fast. Clarke watched as suddenly Emerson was behind her mother holding the knife that she always carried with her to the older woman's throat and held her other weapon a gun out towards anyone who came closer. He was trained and he was smart. He held Abby in just the correct position stalling her legs with his and pressing his body so tightly against hers that her hands were trapped between them. If she moved just a few centimeters the knife would be in her jugular.

Clarke instantly moved forward, but stopped when the gun came to point at her. "Don't even try princess." He growled.

Weapons were drawn at all angles, guns and blades at the ready. "You don't have to do this Emerson." Clarke had her hands up, she didn't expect this. All she was focused on now was getting her mother out of danger.

She then noticed Emerson's arm, it was injured. It looked like a wild boar caught him with a tusk. It also looked infected. "Look, you're injured, it looks infected we can treat you. My mother can treat you and then you can go."

His eyes were so intense, "No, what you're going to do is get me a horse, some knives, medical supplies, and a full canteen. Then I will consider letting your mother go." He tightened his grip around Abby. His wrist was twisted so that knife recoiled over it so he could hold her and press the blade to her with equal force. Abby cried out as the blade just barely started to pierce the skin of her throat.

"Okay. Okay. Don't hurt her. Please she has nothing to do with this." Clarke's eyes were filled with worry. How in the world was she going to deal with a hostage situation?

"We can get you what you want, just let her go Emerson." Her voice was harder now and she took another small step towards her.

"If I did that, I'd be killed instantly." He scoffed.

"You're going to be dead either way." Octavia growled from the other side of Clarke. Then it came to her, he wasn't here for supplies, he could have gone back to Mount Weather to get that to fix his wound. He's a trained soldier he could survive on his own without their help.

"You knew you would die if you came here." Clarke spoke, "you didn't want any help from us, you wanted to take as many of us out with you."

His smugness returned. "Very perceptive. You killed all of my people, so if I was even spotted beyond this camp I would have been killed on site, here at least I can take some of your savages with me."

He moved the gun again, pointing it directly at Clarke as he pushed the knife forward.

It happened so quickly, the blur of brown hair and the shimmer of a sword. No one had noticed Lexa slowly slip away in the chaos of Emerson grabbing Abby. She had known something was going to happen, and she usually wasn't wrong about these things. Before it got any further and she reached her destination hidden behind the Mountain Man. She attacked, as swiftly as tiger hidden in the night. She hit his injured arm and with one quick movement had the one wielding the knife in her grasp freeing Abby and moving the older woman out of the way.

She was in front of him with one of his hands firmly in her grasp as her sword slid through his heart.

Relief flooded through Clarke as grabbed her mother.

Then she heard it and her bones chilled. A gunshot.


	4. Chapter 4

He was a danger, a threat and so he had to go.

Lexa was in tunnel vision, not thinking about anything but protecting the people under her care, protecting those she cared about. She had always known Emerson was not to be trusted and this moment was no different. She had successfully slipped away silently and began to make her very calculated moves; she was not going to have any more blood spilled by the hand of a Mountain Man.

Things started escalating much more quickly than she anticipated, and her instincts kicked in. She needed to strike. Now.

Within seconds she was at his front, moving Clarke's mother out of his grasp and crushing his wrist which held the knife with her adrenaline filled strength. She saw the surprise in his eyes, but did not hesitate when she began to slide the blade of her sword through his heart.

She knew he had a gun, she had seen it. But for some reason she didn't care that it was there. She just focused on saving Abby and killing Emerson. As her blade pierced his skin, he released a bullet from the chamber.

Clarke was deaf to the sound of the immediate commotion. All she heard was the ringing of the gunshot in the air. Her momentary relief at the safety of her mother was quickly replaced, when she saw dark crimson flowing across the leaf littered ground beneath them. She was in shock, but her feet started moving below her. _No!_

Lexa felt the pain instantly, and the wind was knocked out her. Emerson's lifeless body fell to the forest floor as she stumbled back bringing her bloodied sword with her. She dropped the blade and a hand came up to her stomach. The pain was increasing, she couldn't hear, her vision was blurring, but she brought her hand up to eye level to be met with confirmation of warm, sticky blood covering it.

She fell to her knees, trying to keep some breath of consciousness. As she fell she felt a stable force behind her. Holding her up from slumping over into the dirt, arms wrapped around her and through her blurred and dotted vision she saw sun colored hair.

Clarke had caught her. She held Lexa in her arms as the other woman just looked up at her with a pained and dazed expression. She couldn't die. Not now. Not yet. Clarke was not going to let her no matter what it took.

Before she could think another thought. Nyko was at her side with a bad of medicinal herbs he so frequently carried. "Sky Girl. Let me see her wounds." Clarke reluctantly loosened her grip on Lexa but never letting go as Nyko inspected the bullet wound in the Commanders abdomen. Clarke was still in shock, trying to wrap her mind around the chaos. She then snapped out of it when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up to see her mother and the other Skaikru standing over her. Nyko then spoke and she immediately diverted her attention.

"Her wound is deep, I can give her herbs to help soothe the pain, and to stop the blood flow, but wounds such as these do not yield survivors in our clan. We do not have the means to treat her here." His words were serious and focused, but you could tell the worry in his voice.

"No, we need to do something. You cannot let your Commander die!" she was panicked and gripped onto the girl she had pulled into her lap.

"Camp Jaha has the supplies to treat her. We could take her back there." Kane was the one to speak up, he knew that if Lexa died, then so did any hope of an alliance and therefore survival for his people.

"No," Octavia interrupted him. She may not like Lexa, and she may still not be on the best of terms with Clarke, but she could see the pained and frantic expression on her friend's face. "Mount Weather is closer. Lincoln and the party we sent to go through the supplies there are still up there. None of the medical supplies have been moved yet."

A flood of hope rushed through Clarke's veins. She turned to Nyko, "Go get a horse, quickly; we need to get her there." Without another word or gesture he was up and gone.

Clarke turned back to Lexa and started whispering to her, her words inaudible to anyone else. Everyone else just stood there, the shock slowly fading from them. Nyko returned moments with a horse and followed by Indra who was already mounted.

Carefully Clarke moved up and released her grasp on Lexa. Nyko and another guard quickly but carefully pulled their Heda up into their arms to hoist her up onto the horse. Clarke mounted the stallion and motioned for the two men to place Lexa in front of her. As they did so her mother put a hand on her leg and got her attention.

"Clarke-" her mother started her tone revealing the telltale signs that she was going to protest.

"Mom, this is not the time for you to try and convince me to go back to camp and leave her here to die. I am taking her to Mount Weather. I am going to save her life like she just did for _you_. So either you can get on a horse and help me or get out of my way." Clarke's voice was potent, filled with a conglomerate of emotions that were at war with other behind her eyes.

"You'll need another trained hand to help with the bullet." Her mother said, her eyes still conveying a hint of protest.

Within a minute they were galloping off towards the mountain.

Lexa was barely conscious, the herbs taking an edge off of the pain, but it never ceased. Her mind was cloudy; her thoughts were a frenzied mess of sounds and images. The only thing that was clear in her mind was the body pressed against her back, and the blonde curls that fluttered across her vision in the wind.

She could barely hear Clarke's words, but she knew that it was her. She could feel the worry, and the focused determination within the tension of the other girl's body.

She let out a wheezing breath, "Is she safe?" it was first words she had spoken since being shot. Clarke immediately tightened her grip around Lexa's hips to keep her from falling to either side as she let out a sigh of relief that Lexa was lucid enough to form words.

"Yes she is. You saved her. And now I am going to save you." Clarke's voice was resolute, but wavered just the slightest.

Another shaky breath escaped Lexa as a wave of pain from the galloping steed below them moved over an uneven patch of ground. "Clarke, ai gonplei ste odon." Lexa breathed out and immediately felt adrenaline filled tension fill the girl holding her.

"Your fight is not over Lexa. Yu gonplei nou ste odon nowe." Clarke said it. She was not going to let Lexa give up like this.

"Clarke," Lexa started, but tensed as the beast hit another uneven patch, "my soul will find you again."

Clarke let out a strangled laugh, "I thought we already had this conversation, I need your soul to stay right where it is."

A small, weak smile started playing on Lexa's lip, "We are not facing a pauna this time."

Clarke felt her fade, felt the muscles in Lexa's body go slack against her. _No_. They were almost there, just a few more moments. Clarke pushed her horse faster and faster. The group practically skidded to a stop in front of the door to the Mountain. Lincoln and some other Sky People were outside. She didn't hear any of the confused words that were spoken. Nyko and Kane gently pulled Lexa from the horse and Clarke dismounted.

She rushed to Lincoln, "Have you moved the medical supplies?" he didn't reply soon enough for her even though she didn't give him enough time too. She repeated herself, louder this time.

"No, we haven't they are still in the medical bay. What happe-." Before he could finish she was leading Nyko, Kane, and her mother into the mountain. She would leave Octavia and the others to explain.

Finally reaching the medical bay, they instantly got to work. Lexa was placed on one of the surgical beds and Clarke began to undo the buckles that encased her blood soaked torso. She cut open Lexa's cloth and leather top with a knife from her belt and revealed the dark, fleshy wound. She winced a bit, a hit of nausea coursed through her. This was bad. And it was Lexa.

Every feeling that Clarke had for the unconscious girl before her came flooding back and almost knocked her over. She couldn't die. She couldn't.

Abby, Raven, and Bellamy returned with the medical supplies and Clarke was pulled out of her thoughts to focus on the one thing she needed to do. Abby took the lead, and immediately assessed the depth of the injury to check to any internal bleeding. Clarke was applying pressure, her hands were shaking. Abby placed a hand on her daughter's, "We will save her." Was all she said before she reached for the tongs to remove the bullet.

Lexa then began to seize. Her body rushing back to consciousness and instantly into shock; blood started pooling from her mouth as she shook. Clarke immediately rushed up to her, trying to calm her shock stricken body. Lexa's pulse was through the roof, all of the movement had tossed the bullet further into her and it was finally settling.

After only a moment, her body slackened again, her eyes wide and enveloped with the face of a fearful Clarke before falling back into unconsciousness. Clarke turned to her mother, and with an unspoken response they both started working again. Clarke trying desperately to remove the thoughts of the woman before her dying just as she realizing the full extent of her feelings for her; _this can't be happening_.

After several minutes the bullet finally released from where it had found sanctuary within the muscle of Lexa's abdomen. With it, however, came a rush of new blood hitting the oxygen of the room. It covered everything soaking through the cloths and rags that lay next to her. Trigedakru and Skaikru both watched as the two doctors worked to save the young brunette. They had found a heart monitor when they entered and the constant beat of the beeping began to escalate with every passing second. She was losing too much blood, the color was draining from her tanned skin; her barely parted lips turning a light purple as the blood began to fade.

Things were becoming panicked, the tension in the air of the room was thick with worry as the incessant beeping halted and a long drone hung in its place.

"NO!" Clarke screamed. She rushed up the body of the dying girl, and immediately started chest compressions to start Lexa's heart once more. After doing an allotted amount she pressed her lips to the blood drained lips she so wished to kiss again, but not like. Not this way. She pushed her breath through Lexa's lungs and before starting back chest compressions.

The room was silent. The only noise was the strangled sobs that emanated from Clarke as she pushed on the Commander's chest. After several minutes, and no change a hand placed itself on Clarke's shoulder and tried to pull her away, but she fought against it and only tried harder.

It was too soon. Lexa couldn't die. She couldn't leave her. She hadn't even had a chance to tell her that she was ready.

The hand came back and tears erupted from Clarke's eyes. She looked over and followed the hand to its owner. Raven. She had a look of solemn seriousness on her face and pulled the crying blonde into an embrace. Clarke fell into it, and rested her head on Raven's shoulder. She cried for just a moment before opening her eyes.

They went wide. She saw it. Holstered at Bellamy's side, one of the Ark guard's electrified batons. The memories came flooding back to her. They used it revive Lincoln. It would work, it had too.

Without warning she bolted from her friends embrace and rushed to Bellamy ripping the baton from his belt. She looked at it as she turned it on and the electricity rippled around the metal. Everyone in the room seemed to understand and the tension turned from thick with despair to pulsating with the possibility.

The baton securely in hand, Clarke moved back over to Lexa's lifeless side. It had only been a few minutes, it should work. Without hesitation, Clarke drove the blunt metal tip down to press onto Lexa's heart. The waves of electricity made her body heave she held it there for a moment, then heard the magnificent sound of the digital beeping.

Clarke let out an exasperated sigh of relief as she let the baton fall to the floor as she lay her head on the girl's chest. She could hear it. Clarke felt Lexa's heartbeat, it was slowly starting to steady itself. After just a moment she heard the puff of air release from the Commander's mouth.

They did it. They saved her.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke hadn't left her side.

It had been several hours since Lexa was brought to the mountain bunker. They had moved her from the surgical table to one of beds that lined the main medical room. Clarke had always hated this room, ever since she first was in it when she met Dante Wallace, but now she just sat in it. Sitting at the bedside of the young leader, who had sacrificed her life to save that of one who did not think of her more than a savage, Clarke was consumed of thought.

She was exhausted, this day had been so chaotic, first the confrontation with Lexa, then the hostage crisis and saving Lexa.

Lexa died. She couldn't tear her mind away from image of the color drained Commander as blood pooled from her stomach and the echo of drawn out tone of her stopped heart. The thought of if they hadn't succeeded in bringing her back, of if they didn't have that electrified baton crossed her mind and her breath hitched in her chest.

What if Lexa had died, she wouldn't have been able to say what she wanted, she wouldn't have been able to learn to trust her again, to come to the day when her anger had subsided and she could just say the words that she was ready.

Because Clarke was ready. With all of the death that she had seen and caused since they landed on the ground, Wells, Charlotte, Finn, and all of the others who they couldn't save, Lexa was the one that truly made her heart wrench. It made her sick to thin of the possibility of losing her. Did that make her a horrible person? That she valued the life of one more than others? Clarke wasn't sure, but truth be told she didn't care.

 _"The dead are gone, and the living are hungry."_

Lexa's words came to her. She was right she could not save the dead, but Lexa was not one of them. She was alive.

Clarke looked down at the slumbering Commander's face. She was beautiful. Rarely did Clarke have the opportunity to truly recognize that, to just take in the sight of the young brunette. The color had returned to her tanned skin and her plump lips were back to being a shade of pink. Clarke let her blue eyes travel around the curve of Lexa's cheek bones noting small white scars that etched themselves in otherwise perfect flesh, but then her brows furrowed and a small frown started on the blonde's lips as her eyes saw a stain of dried blood that marked the line of Lexa's jaw.

Clarke reached over to a bowl of water with a cloth that had been sat there by one of the others. No one had joined her for over an hour. The others were aiding in looking through the supplies and information within the bunker. She knew they were all giving her space, at this point there was no point in hiding her feelings for the Commander because she was pretty sure that if they didn't know already, they did now.

She wet one edge of the cloth in the water and moved it to the smear of darkness on Lexa's face. However, as soon as the cloth made contact with skin, Lexa bolted upright grabbing hold of Clarke's wrist.

Immediately Clarke tried to calm the Commander down as she got her bearings and realized her surroundings. "Lexa, calm down you're okay. You're safe. It's just me. It's just Clarke."

Lexa's heart was pounding in her chest, her fight or flight instincts were in high gear as she was suddenly pulled back to conscious reality. She met Clarke's gaze as her sense began to come back into her control and heard the other girl's voice trying to calm her. She winced in pain as her chest heaved from the sudden influx of oxygen.

As forest green came to hold sky blue, she felt herself come back. She loosened her grip on Clarke's wrist a wave of apology flashed across her eyes as she realized how tight her grip had been. She was sure it would bruise by morning.

Clarke did not pull away from Lexa's hand though, instead placing her palm to rest on the brunette's hand. "I apologize, I hope I did not hurt you too badly." She said bringing her other hand to the bandages that wrapped her wound.

Clarke just smiled, "its fine Lexa, I'm just glad you're awake." Clarke's eyes moved down to where Lexa's hand was still hovering over the wound. "Is the pain too much? Nyko had given you some herbs for pain, but they may have begun to wear off."

"It's nothing I can't handle." Lexa looked around at the room, her expression curious. She had never actually been inside the Mountain Men's bunker. As the Commander looked around, Clarke's focus was still on her.

Her eyes began to wander, because of the location of the wound they had to remove Lexa's leather and cloth top, leaving her only in a tightly bound cloth around her breasts. Clarke felt a blush begin to rise again, as her gaze lingered longer than it should on the other girl's chest. The cloth itself was beginning to loosen just the slightest at the top to reveal the sure swell of Lexa's ample chest.

 _I really need to stop staring. Focus on something else Clarke, it shouldn't be this difficult._ A moment later Clarke found the power to divert her gaze even just a little to focus back on that still healing scar she traced at the lake, which subsequently led to remembering the thoughts of dripping wet Commander standing in front of her in just a towel and the momentary glimpse of her form before it disappeared behind said towel.

 _Yep, wrong thing to focus on. Get control of yourself Clarke, she was just shot!_ Clarke scolded herself, and moved her gaze once more to only feel the blush on her neck rise exponentially further when she was met with an arched eyebrow and smug smirk on face of the girl she had just been ogling.

Lexa's smirk turned into the slightest smile, "You saved my life, my soul was preparing itself to find another, but it seems to have stayed."

Clarke chucked, "You're going to have to accept the fact that as long as I'm here you soul is staying right where it is." Lexa let out a bit of laugh, and Clarke's smile grew. She wanted to paint this moment, take a picture of it and save it for eternity. Lexa actually laughed and the sound of it was something that Clarke never wanted to end.

"Thank you," She continued a more somber gratitude forming to her features, "for saving my mother."

"I was not going to allow any more blood to be spilled at the hands of a Mountain Man. I never trusted him anyway. No good was going to come from him being in camp." Lexa stated, a part of the Commander coming back to the forefront.

"Still, I know the alliance between our two peoples has been tested and my mother has made it pretty clear she isn't the greatest fan of yours, but you risked your life to save her." Clarke gave Lexa's hand a squeeze.

"I saved her so you would not lose another you love. I did what I had to do." Lexa's gaze was intense. She was never good at voicing her emotions and she hoped that the meaning behind her words was felt by the other girl.

"Don't ever do it again." Clarke's voice instantly changed, it had an edge to it but it softened as she looked down at their connected hands, "You died, Lexa. I-We almost lost you. I just-" Clarke let out a shaky sigh as she was trying to find the words, "I don't know what I would do if that happened."

Lexa gulped, her heart ached to tell the blonde how she felt, to let herself not be the Commander of the Woods Clan and to just be a girl who is falling for another, but she was not going to push Clarke. The battle between her mind and her heart was reaching a breaking point, but she wouldn't do what she wished unless Clarke moved first so instead she spoke, "I cannot promise to never put my life in danger again." She lowered her head to meet Clarke's gaze, "But I can promise that I will always find my way back to you."

It takes everything in Clarke's power to not instantly close the distance between them. The yearning of want and lust only held back by the chains of distrust that are still present. She contemplates it, about throwing caution to the wind and giving in to her selfish need. She feels her heartbeat start to quicken, but as her mind contemplates a knock on the wall throws her out of it.

"I'm sorry for interrupting," Abby says in the doorway of the room, awkward discomfort trying to be hidden, "Since you were awake now I wanted to check your wound, see if we missed anything."

Both young leaders immediately straightened in posture and quickly, but reluctantly, pulled their hands away. "Of course." Lexa said as Abby moved towards them. Abby pulls away the bandages which have become soaked through and turned red. No words of any party are spoken as Abby finishes cleaning and applying a fresh bandage.

Finally the older woman breaks the silence, "You should rest, the wound seems to be doing fine but you could use sleep." She turns to her daughter who hasn't made eye contact with her yet, "Can we talk?" Clarke simply nods and gets up leaving Lexa with a small smile. They turn away, but Abby soon turns back to Commander, "Thank you." The words are sincere, but a look of warning is in the doctor's eye that doesn't go unnoticed so Lexa simply nods.

"Did you guys find anything useful in the supplies?" Clarke says, her face is neutral; she really doesn't want to get into another argument with her mother again, especially one over Lexa.

"The others are still going through things," Abby starts, then she gets that look on her face that Clarke knows all too well. "Look honey I just want you to be careful."

Clarke shakes her head, "Mom, I have no reason to be worried, Lexa isn't going to hurt me. She just saved your life and you're still trying to convince me that she's the bad guy?"

"Clarke that's not what I'm trying to do. You barely know her and she left you and the others to die. She's a ruthless leader and she isn't afraid to end lives to move her plans further." Abby put her hands on her daughter's shoulders to try and get through to her.

"Lexa did what she had to do as a leader of her people," Abby opened her mouth to talk, but Clarke simply continued, "We make decisions to save the greatest number, you know that, I know that, and so does everyone else." Clarke's voice was hard, burning to a point.

"You cannot tell me that if Kane, you or any other member of the council was given the same that you wouldn't take it because I know you would. _I_ would. It was good deal for her people to take, she was trying to save her people."

"Clarke, I know that, I just don't want you getting caught up with someone who could turn on you at any moment just to protect _her_ people." Abby's voice started to rise in volume, but Clarke wasn't going to back down, Lexa wasn't a bad person despite what her mother thought.

"You don't know her like I do! You haven't even given her a chance! You just think that they are savages that they are below us. They aren't and if it weren't for _Lexa_ we all would've been dead a long time ago."

Clarke wanted to be done with this she didn't understand why her mother was being so ignorant about this. She wasn't even giving her a chance. "So what is this really about Mom? Is it because she's a woman? Is it because she made move in the moment that anyone would make? Or is it something else? Why are you so against her?"

"It has nothing to do with that fact that she's a girl, Clarke you know that! I just want you to be happy, to be safe. To not have to constantly worry about being killed or being betrayed by someone who you care about. I don't want you to be put in the position I was in with your father, to choose between the person you love and the people you swore to protect. It's an impossible decision that I don't want to see you go through."

Abby was pleading now, her daughter was all she had left. She just wanted to protect her, she was trying to be the mother she once was, but what she wasn't realizing was that her daughter wasn't the same girl as before.

"I've already made impossible decisions. Mom, I'm not the innocent little girl that you raised on the Ark. _You_ sent me down here so I did what I had to do to survive. I have the blood on my hands of hundreds just to do that. And I am not going to apologize for having feelings for the one person who understands that more than anyone else." Clarke could feel the stinging, salty tears begin to form at the corners of her eyes, "If you want me to be happy, then let me. If I get hurt in the process, then that is my mistake to make. You can't protect me from everything, but I'll survive no matter what."

There was a long moment of silence, tears from both of them being held back. Neither let their gaze falter, and neither would back down from where they stood on the subject. The silence was broken by a familiar voice being uncharacteristically hesitant.

"Guys, we found something you should see." Raven stated quietly. "Mount Weather was sharing their information about us."

That got both women's attention, "With who?" Clarke asked.

Raven's eyes flickered to Lexa who was talking with Indra, "The Ice Nation."


	6. Chapter 6

Before Clarke could fully comprehend the news that Mount Weather was trading information with the Ice Nation, she heard the all too familiar stubbornness coming from room behind her. She turned form her mother and Raven and started towards the injured girl. Clearly Indra had just informed her of the new situation.

Lexa was in the process of throwing the blanket off of her pant clad legs and barely covered upper body when Clarke reached her. "What are you doing you should be resting." The blonde attempted.

"No, what I need to be doing is being briefed on what information has passed between these cowards and the Ice Nation." Lexa then turned to one of her guards and snapped something in Trigedasleng.

Clarke sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Lexa had that look, that 'I'm the Commander and no one is going to tell me what I can or cannot do' look. She knew it was useless to try and reason with the girl so instead she shrugged off her jacket and handed it to the Commander.

"Why do I even try to keep people resting when they're injured?" she muttered to herself. She couldn't help the smirk that played at her lips as she watched the brunette in front of her who was ever so failing at getting the jacket on. Lexa's muscles were just a little unwilling to move after being dead for a couple minutes then being jolted back to life.

Clarke was about to ask the girl if she wanted help, but it was like Lexa read her mind because just as she opened her mouth to offer she was met with a frustrated glare. After a few moments and the smirk never leaving Clarke's face, Lexa was successful in getting the jacket on and zipped. Clarke stayed next to her as the Commander started towards the control room where the others were located, occasionally placing a steadying hand Lexa's back when a surge of pain hit her.

As soon as Lexa walks into the control center and sees the information splayed across the monitors in front of them, her entire body tenses; they have so much knowledge. Photos, maps, listings of strategies, resources, weaponry, and numbers; her people could not face another war, she would not allow it.

The girls' arrival caused the room to go silent for a moment, the Sky People looking nervous at the cold intensity on the Commander's face. Lexa's entire demeanor had changed rapidly since this news. The last time the Ice Nation had gotten ahold of information on her and her people they were at war and her first love had been lost in the process of finding peace. And gods be damned if she would let that happen again.

"What do we have." It wasn't even a question, she needed to know.

"We were going through their files, they have hard copies of letters from the Ice Nation, giving schedules for arrival, the kinds of information they wanted, and the cost of transactions." Raven started, she slid the folders across the center table towards the Commander who began flipping through the pages.

"We also found files on their computers, we haven't gone through everything yet, but from what we can tell they have gathered a substantial amount of photos from when the drop ship, as well as the Ark landed. Pictures of our set ups, our leaders, but we did find specific pictures of the Grounder villages." This got Lexa's attention back to the dark haired girl and then to the monitors that started flooding with pictures.

With Lexa's bone chilling gaze back on her, Raven couldn't help but flinch a little bit, she may not like the woman but she couldn't deny that she had the ability to scare the shit of her and that's something that doesn't happen often. In her moment of silence, Kane spoke up meeting Lexa's gaze.

"The leaders of Mount Weather have been monitoring your Clan for years. However, more recently since you took up Command we presume, their monitoring has gone more extensive. They use to focus simply on numbers, if your Clan was directing attack and if so at whom, but for about the past year and half the monitoring increased to photos of guards positions, of you and the people who directly surround you. They go all the way up until the battle."

"And this increase in monitoring matches up with when they started contacting the Ice Nation?" Clarke asked rifling through the pages of information, Kane replied with a nod. "I thought the Ice Nation was part of the Coalition now, that the war between the Clans was finished?" Clarke directed the question to Lexa but got no reply.

Lexa's eyes were stone, locked on the screens before them. She was focused on one in particular, a smaller screen in the corner of the row. There were only two images scrawled across it, but the photos stopped her heart mid pump. She saw the familiar smile, the glow of sun-kissed skin, the light that shone behind eyes now gone.

Costia.

One of the photos was a picture of Lexa just outside her tent, her war paint covering her eyes, but the emotion that filled them was ever present. She was talking to Costia, the young girl's hand resting on the Commander's as they spoke, a smile spread widely across her face. The second photo however was just one of Costia, her eyes were focused on weaving cloth together into an intricate pattern, however this photo was marked; a large red 'X' stained the digital photo.

Lexa forcibly tightened her jaw and bit the inner of her cheek to the point that she could taste the coppery warmth of her own blood. It took almost all of her already depleted energy not to instantly take a horse and go rip the head off of the Ice Queen herself. She had always wondered how the rival nation had gotten the information to capture Costia, knew who she was and what she meant to Lexa and now she knew.

 _Hodnes laik kwelnes_. She reminded herself. _Love is weakness_. She repeated this in her mind until she felt the warmth of a hand through the fabric of the jacket. She cleared her throat and brought her eyes to Clarke who instantly knew something was wrong, but also knew that this was not the time or place for that discussion so she simply repeated herself.

"I thought that relations with the Ice Nation were stable now, since the Coalition was formed. Why would they want to continue to gather more information on you?"

"The Ice Nation may be a part of the Coalition but they do not hold our full trust, they never will. Ever since the beginnings of the Clans they have wanted nothing more than to take our land, our people, see the end of the Woods Clan. If they continued to gather information on us even after the treaty then they are still planning something." She turned to eyes to address the rest of the room.

"We must assume that they have information on both Skaikru and Trigedakru. The Ice Nation is a ruthless people, their leader the worse. I would not put it past her to start another war while she thinks we are weak from the end of this one."

Abby spoke up, clearly agitated at this whole situation, "We can't go through another war. It would be suicide, and we don't even know that's what they are planning. We should keep an eye on them, they won't be getting any more information so if they did have a plan they probably would have to rethink some things. We know that they were plotting against us. We should use this time to send a message or something that we aren't weak."

"You do not know the Ice Nation. I have fought them, they would die for their leader despite how inaccurate or unplanned her orders are." Indra stated.

"What about contacting the other Clans? Call a meeting of leaders and tell them what we found, get their support if there is an attack?" Bellamy chimed in, "You said it yourself that they want power, they want land so what's it say that they won't attack the others as well? We could get their support."

Everyone started talking at once throwing ideas into the pit only to have someone else set them on fire. Voices tried to overpower voices, but Lexa stayed silent and Clarke watched as the gears started to work within her mind. Clarke followed Lexa's gaze which had found its way back to the small screen with the pictures of Costia and it immediately clicked. The subtle anger that was building within Lexa now made more sense and Clarke squeezed Lexa's arm with her hand that hadn't left. Lexa looked towards her with that same damn apologetic look on her face that she had right before she said she took the deal. The look that said the Clarke would not like what she was about to say, but that she thought it was for the best.

 _I will not lose you too_. Lexa thought and hoped that someway, somehow Clarke would understand.

The noise in the room rose and rose until a sharp and sudden _bang_ echoed and cut the bickering; everyone's eyes turned to Lexa who had thrown her fist on the metal table to get attention.

"The Ice Nation is our rival, not yours and it will do no good to prepare for war when so much still needs to be done," she started and Clarke instantly felt her chest tighten. "I will speak with the leaders of the other Clans, see if they will provide warriors in case that our fears are true, but until the day that we know there will be an attack, it would not be best to show as if the Woods Clan is favoring your people over any other in the Coalition. Because we are closest neighbors, mutual trade and aid will be granted, but from now on I believe it would be best to separate our clans."

Everyone was silent and shocked, this was the last thing that they thought Lexa would propose. Even Indra and the other guards seemed to be taken aback by this.

"So you want to do nothing? Just be sitting ducks and wait and see if they attack?" Abby looked like she wanted to shake the girl.

"No, I'm saying you're right we need to show them we aren't weak but sending a message by force is not the way to do it. I've dealt with the Queen before, if you challenge her by force you will only encourage her, so instead make your permanent settlements, secure your resources and farming lands for winter. Live like one does when you are not weak." Lexa finished, she did not say anything, did not make eye contact with anyone but Indra and her guards. She just turned and walked away.

After a moment of moment of shocked confusion, Clarke followed after her, practically running down the hallway and out the main door where Lexa was preparing to leave. "You can't do this! You can't just walk away!" Clarke called after her.

Lexa stopped, "I am doing what is needed to protect you Clarke."

Clarke stalked over to her and grabbed the Commander's arm spinning her around. "Lexa, I know what you saw in there, I know your history with these people, but this is not the way to handle it! You can't just leave again. We- what am I-." She was so confused, she had just gotten Lexa back. Within a course of one day she had found her, lost her to death, got her back and now she was leaving again? Clarke's mind was having trouble wrapping itself around everything.

"I am sorry Clarke, I will not have history repeat itself. I hope you can forgive me, understand, and know that I don't want to do this." Clarke could barely see the wet shimmer start to form at the corner of Lexa's eyes only to have the brunette collect herself and revert back to her defensive neutral self.

"Thank you for saving my life, but now I must do this to save yours." And with that one of Lexa's guards helped her onto her horse and she was gone.

Clarke paused and brought a hand to cover her heart. She looked around, once again she found herself heartbroken in front of this damn door and just like the time before she was not going to give up without a fight.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a month since Lexa had left Clarke standing at that gods forsaken door. They had agreed to the plan that she set, to just wait things out. The building of their permanent settlement was underway and things at Camp Jaha were good for once.

Well mostly good.

Clarke was pissed; she had been ever since that tumultuous day. So much had happened and it seemed like she was back at square one. Every day, when she awoke, she pushed all of it to the side and tried to distract herself with the work that needed to be done.

Again she found herself understanding where Lexa was coming from. She knew the Commander's history with the Ice Nation and even though Lexa had pretty much confirmed without a doubt that she had feelings for Clarke she still left her. Again. But this time was different, this time it didn't feel like a decision for the good of the greatest number. It was a decision about her.

But most of all Clarke was furious at the fact that Lexa had thought that see needed protecting, as honorable as her intentions were. Clarke could protect herself; she had done it so far so why wouldn't she be able to now?

These thoughts raced through Clarke's head every day for a month, and every day she told herself to let Lexa be. That, if this is what she wanted then Clarke would respect that; she knew Lexa thought this was for the best but truth be told Clarke found herself caring less and less about the threat the Ice Nation posed, and more about breaking the chains of other's opinions and being with the person she wanted to be with but her mind and heart were at war once more. She didn't know what to do.

The communication with the Grounders was still strong. They met with advisors and other leaders about trade and division of resources from the Mountain that was still being gone through. Every meeting Clarke looked and every meeting Lexa was absent.

As much as Clarke's mind battled, there was work that needed to be done. Winter was coming and they needed to finish their settlement.

One morning, Clarke woke up in the cool, metal, room of the Ark she had fallen asleep in the night before. She had been going through files of documents they had collected from Mount Weather. She only found herself awake because apparently her dreaming body thought it was good idea to shift in the morning light and move the chair she was settled in onto only two legs almost knocking her over.

Once jolted awake and legs firmly back on the floor, Clarke groaned. At some point more boxes of files had been brought in and stacked along the wall. It was good distraction, reading about the history of the 97 years her people weren't on the ground, but seriously they had computers so why in the hell did they need so much paper?

She started fumbling though the paper on the desk before her trying to remember, through sleepy eyes, where she had left off when a bit of wind came through the cracked metal and blew a pile across the room.

She threw her hands up in defeat, "Fine. Whatever." She stood and glared at the hole in metal then at the papers before her as if to scold them. "This is already a fantastic day," she continued to herself, sarcasm dripping from every word, "How could it get much better than this?"

Clearly whatever divine deity that might exist, did not have sense of humor towards sarcasm. Or it did and it was just in mood towards her because the echo of a voice calling her name came from down the hall. She groaned again pressed her palms into her eyes.

 _Well I guess it can_. She thought as she lifted herself out of the chair and went to the door to go find her mother before that voice became louder and more irritated. When she met her mother, she had that same polite grin on her face that clearly said she knew what was going on with her daughter, but she was secretly happy at the absence of the brunette Commander.

Clarke had been avoiding her mother, she knew it was ridiculous but she also knew that her mother was just as stubborn as she was and wasn't going to be changing her opinions on certain subjects anytime soon. So it was just better for the both of them to hold out on talking about certain things, people namely, until everything was calmer in camp.

There was council meeting that morning that Clarke was supposed to attend. Even though she wasn't the Chancellor or an official council member with all that she has done for her people many thought she should be there.

The meeting was incredibly dull, mostly discussion on placement of buildings and if certain jobs should have more people to them than others with the changing of the seasons. As soon as the meeting was done and over with she was the first one out. Clarke had a massive headache and was still irritated from the stupid little events from her morning. So what does a heartbroken, frustrated young leader do? She goes to shoot something.

Clarke found herself at the edge of the training yard, just in case there was an invasion and a new war everyone thought it would be best to have the people of the Ark learn to fight or at least protect themselves. Lincoln and Octavia were training a group of guards in using a sword because bullets were running low, while Bellamy and a few different guards were working with some civilians on self-defense. Clarke moved passed them giving smiles to her friends and made her way to the make shift archery set up they had. With quiver and bow in hand, she started firing arrows, hitting within the center rings every time.

"You're aim is getting better."

Clarke looked over her shoulder to Lincoln who was trading out a broken wooden training sword for a new one.

"It helps when you have faces for the targets." She jokingly said and got a bit of a laugh out the man. Ever since he was shunned by his village and was still getting over the Reaper drugs, Lincoln had spent his time trying to make a difference with the Sky People. To earn their trust even though many of them already gave it; he started walking away, but Clarke couldn't help herself from asking.

"Lincoln? Can I ask you something?" he turned to give her his full attention, "About the Commander?"

He nodded.

"Has she always been so-" she broke off to find her words, "her? I mean is she always so stubborn about protecting people?"

He eyed her; he knew what she was really asking about. Everyone knew that Clarke cared for Lexa no matter how hard she might have tried to hide it. He respected Clarke in many ways and she had become a great friend to him over the past few months. She had helped him with his rehabilitation from the drugs and helped him find his happiness with Octavia again, so he didn't think it would be a bad thing to help her out with her own happiness.

"Yes, she has. Ever since she was Anya's second, it's in her nature. However, it has been even more present since Costia."

Clarke stopped and perched herself on the bench with her quiver as he continued.

"You remind her of her Clarke that is very obvious. When Lexa first became Commander everyone knew the Costia was hers, but when she died at the hands of the Ice Nation, everyone also saw the change in the Commander. Because of the position she always was very neutral, but with Costia around she was different, warmer, less tense among the people, but after she was taken the wounds of her death were clear and Lexa became much more of a Commander, a stoic leader."

Clarke could imagine it and let his words continue.

"Clarke, I am not the only one that has noticed her change again. Many of the other villagers have as well and they know it is because of you. You may think she is being ridiculous in trying to protect you when you don't need it, but Clarke she is trying to do the right thing. With a newfound threat from the Ice Nation, it would not surprise me if old wounds have been broken open. She may be distancing herself from you, but all wounds need a healer."

He smiled at her, a sight she rarely saw from the Grounder and he walked back towards the training yard. Clarke still sat there and let his words sink in and confirm her own thoughts.

It was at the beginning of the evening and Clarke had retreated hours earlier back to her room of paper stacks and started back into journal entries and never ending information. At this point she didn't even comprehend what she was reading her mind focused on Lincoln's words and on Lexa. What could she be thinking about? Was she thinking about the past? Forcing that same neutral expression or furrowing her eyebrows in that way she did when she was focused on a map or a strategy? Was she thinking about her?

She forced her mind back to the task at hand and reread the sentence she was on for the fifth time when there was a knock at the doorway. She looked up and smiled at Bellamy who was standing in the threshold with a bowl.

"I figured I'd save you some of the berries we picked the other day before Monty ate them all." He walked forward and set the bowl on the table before taking one of the ripe purple berries from it and popping it in his mouth.

"Thanks, at the rate I'm going I'd be lucky if I get this done by next winter." She laughed and grabbed a berry.

Bellamy leaned forward on the desk and gave her that classic big brother look that she always saw him giving Octavia before giving out some of his brotherly wisdom. "You know you can't do this forever."

She didn't look at him, just grabbed another berry. "Do what?"

"Drown yourself in stupid projects just to keep yourself distracted."

She looked up at him defensively, "This is not a stupid project, someone has to go through it and see if there's anything important!"

He just raised an eyebrow at her and she leaned back her chair and let out a long sigh, "Okay, so maybe I am distracting myself, what's so wrong with that?"

"Clarke, go see her." he said simply. Clarke just looked at him, mouth agape as if to protest that she did not need to go see her and why would he even suspect that she did when he continued.

"Ever since the day she got shot saving your mother and you saving her life and we learned about this Ice Nation thing she clearly has been avoiding you. And it's obvious that it's eating at you. Clarke as much as the woman can be a pain in the ass with some of the decisions she makes, as validated as they may be. You care about her it's written all over your face and not seeing her and clearly having unanswered questions is hurting you."

For the second time today, Clarke simply looked at the man before her and be told things she already knew, but didn't want to fully think about. She wanted to go to Lexa, despite everything but her own fears and childish anger held her back, but finally she spoke.

"She's the one avoiding me Bell. She wants to protect me, and fine I'll let her even if it infuriates me. I don't need to be protected by her, but if she feels like she needs to do this then that's the decision that she's going to make."

"You're right, you don't need protecting. And when have you ever let anyone make decisions about you?"

She didn't reply.

"What I don't get is that if it bothers you so much that she feels like you need protecting then why haven't you gone and shown her you don't need it? You haven't been acting like the Clarke I know. The Clarke I know would go and confront her about why she has been avoiding you and get the answers she wants one way or another."

She knew what he was doing, he was doing the same thing that Lincoln was only in the opposite way. They were trying to get her to go to Lexa and do something for herself for once. Yes she had made the tough calls when it came to things for survival, but she always made them so that others wouldn't have to bear the burden and she hadn't really made a decision for herself in so long. It's always been about others not her, others making decisions for her and her making decisions for others.

Bellamy was right. She had been fighting it for a month, deciding whether to respect what Lexa was trying to do or be selfish and live in the moment because she knew how short life could be here. She had ended so many and been at death's door more times than she ever thought she would and never had she decided to do something for herself, her heart.

Well that was about to change.

Bellamy just smiled at his friend, who dawned her familiar look of determination, as she stood from her desk chair. She smiled at him back and started towards the gates.

Clarke rode from Camp Jaha all the way to the Grounders Camp. She entered the camp and got some strange, surprised expressions from people of the Camp. She rode right through until she reached Lexa's tent only to find no guards posted, but the blonde had a pretty good idea where the Commander might be.

The sun was just starting to get low in sky and the light began to get deeper in color as Clarke rode through the forest thicket. Her heart was racing with excitement as she pushed the stallion further. She was done letting others dictate what she was going to do. She didn't care about the Ice Nation or whatever threat they posed. If they attacked, they would be fought by a united army. As she rode her excitement mixed with the frustration and determination to prove that she did not need protecting. Before she knew it she was coming up upon a familiar trail up a hill; the scenery getting greener as she approached her destination.

She dismounted her horse in front of two of Lexa's personal guards who regarded her with confused looks, but did not say anything as she marched passed them. She wasn't trying to be quiet; she wanted Lexa to know she was there, to know that she was a presence. She crossed through the line of trees easily and reached the opening to the healing pool and its glorious waterfall.

It was even more beautiful than she remembered. The evening light casted dancing shadows across the tree line and the steaming vapors from the lakes surface ghosted up into the cool air. She did not stop to focus on the surroundings though. Her eyes were glued to the back of the lake, underneath the waterfall, hands pressed against the rocky side of the cliff.

Lexa was exactly how she had been the first time Clarke was here. Waist deep in hot water, the flow of the waterfall cascading down her ink stained back. Clarke marched forward, crunching twigs and leaves under her feet and stopped directly on one of the large rocks surrounding the lake.

"Ai na sen yu in (I can hear you)." Lexa called thinking the sound was one of her guards, "Chit? (What?)"

She did not turn to look back or move from her position at all and for some reason this infuriated Clarke. She was mess of emotion already, her excitement and desire for the other woman mixing with such infuriating irritation at the notion that see needed protection that she truly had no idea what she was going to do.

Before she knew it Clarke had taken off her boots, socks, and jacket in three swift movements not even bothering with any of her other clothing and was marching into the lake. Noticing the shift in the water Lexa immediately whipped around to defend herself but was halted in her shock at the blonde who, within moments was right in front of her.

Before Lexa could even question why Clarke was there, the blonde leader had pinned her to the cool slippery rock of the cliff, kissed her with so much intense passion, then pulled back and with an open hand sent a searing jolt of pain through her cheek with a slap.


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as the slap connected, Lexa reacted. A flash of fear coursed through Clarke as within a blink of an eye she felt her back slam into the rock. Lexa had both of Clarke's wrists in one tight grip held above her head and her other hand clasped around Clarke's throat, they were so close that Clarke wasn't even sure who's heartbeat she was feeling. Lexa was starting right at her, her cheek flushed pink, her eyes like daggers with so much power undercut by a base need of lust.

Clarke's fear escaped her as she locked eyes with the girl before her, "I do not ever need anyone to protect me. I am not weak." She punctuated every word through gritted teeth.

Lexa was stone, unmoving, unwavering, her grip never loosening from Clarke's neck. Clarke could feel Lexa's chest heaving from adrenaline filled breaths through her wet shirt that clung to her body. She felt the heat of Lexa's naked body pressed fully against her and felt her own body begin to heat at the thought.

Clarke broke eye contact with Lexa who still had yet to say anything. She let her eyes roam the other's girl's features to try to gauge what the Commander was going to do, but quickly found herself looking at slightly parted lips that were just barely swollen from the kiss the preceded the slap and took her own bottom lip between her teeth before meeting the other girl's gaze which was now drastically different. Clarke's own breathing was becoming labored as she saw how black the Commander's eyes had gotten.

Lexa was fuming, how dare Clarke come barreling in here, kiss her like that then slap her. Her instincts are what guided her to their current position. She saw Clarke's eyes wander, felt her pulse quicken under her fingers on the girl's pulse point and felt her own body start to ache.

There was something about the look in Clarke's eyes, that determined power that did something to Lexa she hadn't felt in a very long time. The anger within her was replaced by all of the feelings she had towards the girl and formed into a boiling pot of sexual tension that was just begging for release. When Clarke met Lexa's gaze again and bit her lip, it was evident all over the blonde's face that the feeling was mutual.

Within a beat, Lexa's lips were pressed against Clarke's again. The kiss was hot, passionate, and not caring about being gentle. Clarke released her bottom lip only to have it sucked in by Lexa's rich lips and the blonde leader couldn't help the groan that released from the back of her throat. The kiss lasted for what seemed like ages, lips parting and tongues connecting in a power battle.

Lexa released Clarke's wrists and Clarke instantly took advantage. She wanted to feel every inch of Lexa she never wanted the touch to end. Clarke's hands gripped at Lexa's back and pulled them even closer if that was even possible. She ran her nails up the Commander's back gaining a pleasure filled moan into their kiss.

Lexa's hand moved from Clarke's throat to tangle in the girl's drenched hair while the other snaked behind the small of her back. Neither one wanted any space between them. Clarke bit down on Lexa's lip a little harder than intended, causing the slightest taste of coppery blood to join their senses, but that only fueled Lexa on to deepen the kiss.

Lexa moved her hands once more and played with the hem of Clarke's now skin tight shirt. She began to pull the shirt up making sure that her hands touched every inch of taut flesh that was exposed. Clarke gasped at the sensation of Lexa's strong calloused hands on her. Reluctantly the two broke the kiss just long enough for Lexa to pull Clarke's shirt over her head and throw it with just enough strength for it land on a rock at the edge of the water.

Their lips met again, the passion and heat pounding through both of them as skin met skin and hands groped every inch. Lexa pulled Clarke into her and fumbled with her hands at the plastic clasp of Clarke's bra. The task was bit more difficult than she intended but that didn't stop her and she moved her lips down the girl's jaw and to her neck. She trailed down the column of Clarke's neck nipping, scraping, sucking, kissing. Clarke titled her head back against the rock and opened her neck up for easier access. Her breathing was loud and mixed with moans. She felt Lexa smile against her skin as the bra released from her chest and joined her shirt.

Lexa's hands immediately traveled the new surfaces of Clarke's body as she moved her mouth down from Clarke's neck to her collarbone, leaving little bruises as she went. She traced her tongue across the valley between Clarke's breasts feeling the other girl shudder beneath her touch. When she moved to catch one nipple between her teeth and lips then sucked hard the blonde's back arched into her and a long breathless groan erupted and Clarke tangled one hand into Lexa's dark, sleek hair. Not wanting to neglect the other Lexa brushed her thumb over Clarke's other nipple then gave her breast a squeeze. Clarke's other hand found a grip against the rock wall behind her to steady herself amidst the pleasure.

Once satisfied with one aroused peak Lexa moved her mouth to the other and continued with languid circles around the outside of Clarke's nipple before flicking her tongue across the hardening surface. She was memorizing every part of Clarke, mapping every spot and its sensitivity, recording every sound that was garnered from each touch and Lexa could feel the heat pooling at her own core.

Clarke's mind was completely gone; all of her senses were flooded with nothing but Lexa. Once the older girl let go of her breast Clarke pulled her back up and brought her in for another kiss, her hands grasping the sides of Lexa's face so she couldn't get away. Clarke had to remind herself to come up for air as Lexa's hands moved all over her, her nails leaving both white marks and raised scratches in their wake. Clarke body was so hot, she just wanted to touch, kiss, lick every inch of the muscled and deliciously curved body that was pressed against her.

Clarke used her strength in her legs to flip them and ram Lexa's back against the rock with a thud. She placed a hand on the other girl's cheek in a form of apology for the roughness, but Lexa didn't care just pulled her by the hips and back into their kiss.

Clarke had full control over Lexa's body now, she had the other girl trapped and reveled in the feeling. She moved her hands over the taut muscles of Lexa's stomach as she moved her lips to lick up the drops of water that fell down Lexa's chest from her hair and felt the other girl shudder. She looked up at Lexa and smirked against her skin; she had never seen the Commander with such a look of pleasure lost in pure electric ecstasy. She moved her mouth lower nipping at Lexa's already stiff peaks and around the soft curve of her breasts. She moved even further down Lexa's stomach pressing her teeth against unmarred flesh and running her tongue and the heat of her swollen lips against the length of every scar, while Lexa moaned above her. She then ghosted her lips over the still dark red line of flesh from the healing wound and brushed a gentle kiss to the side of it. She met Lexa's gaze and the other girl bit her lip and nodded for Clarke to continue.

Clarke's hands reached up and palmed Lexa's breasts, squeezing them firmly as she moved further down until she settled at Lexa's hip and started leaving a bruising mark that would surely last for days. She traced the 'v' shaped muscle of Lexa's inner hip all the way to the inner part of the girls thigh and smirked again as the girl tightened her grip in blonde hair and arched her back into the motion.

Clarke stopped just above where Lexa wanted her most and moved away from the heat stricken area between the Commander's legs causing a whimper in protest at the lack of contact. Clarke pulled back from Lexa, watching as the other girl glowed of primal arousal and taking in the sight she wished she could sketch or take a picture of. This was perfect.

Clarke pushed forward again, pressing Lexa between the cool wall and the heat of her own body. She latched onto the girl's neck, sucking on her pulse point and she pushed one hand between Lexa's legs and ran a finger up the length of Lexa's hot core.

"Clarke." Lexa moaned and that was all the encouragement Clarke needed. She wanted to hear her name be moaned and screamed in pleasure by Lexa; she never wanted to stop hearing her name drip from the Commander's lips.

Clarke continued to run her finger up through Lexa's wet folds, just barely grazing the underside of her clit, as she traced her tongue across the scar that connected Lexa's shoulder and clavicle. Clarke's fingers finally brushed over Lexa's already incredibly sensitive clit and it sent a bolt of pleasure through the girl who scraped her nails into Clarke's scalp.

Clarke started slowly with lazy circles, she was so incredibly aroused that she had to fight herself to not just take Lexa over the edge right there and then, but instead chose to draw it out, tease her a little bit, keep control over the usually stoic young leader.

"Clarke," Lexa breathed, "Stop teasing me."

Clarke then pushed her finger directly onto the bundle of nerves and pressed down with a bit of force that caused the Commander to cry out.

"Don't tell me what to do." She spoke firmly but barely above a whisper into Lexa's ear before biting the shell of it. Clarke started again with her circles, but started increasing in speed and pressure. Lexa was writhing beneath her, nails dug into Clarke's back and though her soaked blonde hair. After several moments of changing between pressured circles and soft flicks of her finger Clarke ran two fingers the length of Lexa feeling how wet the Commander had become. She smirked into Lexa's mouth as she kissed her again, long and passionate.

Then suddenly Clarke pushed her two fingers into Lexa the heel of her palm connecting with the girl's engorged clit. Lexa broke the kiss and a low growl of a moan came out as she let her head fall back against the wall and her back arch into Clarke's torso. Clarke wrapped her free arm around the small of Lexa's back to hold her up as Lexa wrapped one of her legs around Clarke's hip opening herself up more and pulling herself just enough out of the water.

Clarke found a rhythm and kept rolling her fingers in and out of Lexa while a slew of profanities in Trigedasleng and a continuation of Clarke's name escaped Lexa's mouth until they were just incoherent noises of pleasure. Clarke leaned down and captured one of Lexa's nipples in her mouth. Lexa pushed Clarke's head more into her as her as the brunette rolled her hips to match each of Clarke's thrusts.

A wide satisfied grin formed on Clarke's lips as she sucked when she felt Lexa begin to grind and ride on her fingers. She started moving faster rubbing her palm against Lexa's clit and going deeper and deeper inside.

Even though Lexa was completely lost in the sensation she still managed to get her other thigh between Clarke's and push up into the blonde's core. Clarke moaned into her chest at the contact, sending vibrations through Lexa's body.

Clarke started moving even faster, she felt Lexa begin to clench around her fingers. She curled both of them upward into the sensitive spot on Lexa's wall and pulled back from the girl's chest to watch as she tumbled over the edge into the oblivion of an orgasm.

Lexa clutched onto Clarke as the other girl watched her. The brunette's back arched to an impossible angle against the slippery wall behind her. Clarke didn't relent in her movements; she worked Lexa through her orgasm. Every muscle in Lexa's body was twitching with pleasure until she finally collapsed forward into the blonde.

Clarke chucked a bit and pressed a kiss to the exhausted girl's head as she pulled out of her. Lexa pulled her head back from Clarke's shoulder and caught the girl's fingers in her mouth, using her tongue to draw them into her mouth and taste herself on them. Clarke watched as Lexa sucked her fingers dry, and she involuntarily licked her own lips. Her eyes stayed on Lexa's lips as the girl released the fingers from mouth and got a feral grin on her face.

Before Clarke knew it she was tasting Lexa wetness on the girl's own lips and was being pushed out from behind the waterfall towards the edge of the water. Lexa pushed Clarke up against of one of the large flat rocks in the shallow glassy water. The water was just below their knees and Lexa began to unbuckle Clarke's belt. Clarke's hands roamed Lexa's back once more moving further down and digging into the girl's hips as Lexa popped the button and undid the zipper on Clarke's pants. Lexa moved in one motion down Clarke's body with her tongue leaving gooseflesh in its wake as the water dripping down both of them came in contact with the cool air of the late evening.

Lexa pulled Clarke's soaking pants off of her legs fairly easily and tossed them somewhere on another rock. Then Clarke heard the tear of fabric as Lexa became impatient and ripped her underwear off and tossed the ruined fabric aside. Clarke glared at the girl as she came back up with a deviously innocent smile on her face. Lexa just kissed Clarke again and brought one hand up to get a handful of one of Clarke's breasts.

Clarke moaned into Lexa's mouth and moved both of her hands down to Lexa's ass and pulled them flush together so every part of their fronts were touching. Lexa moved her hands under Clarke's own ass and picked her up, Clarke gasped as her feet left the sandy bottom of the lake. Lexa laid Clarke back onto the rock and pulled herself above the girl. She leaned down pressing her entire body over Clarke's and used her elbows to bracket the blonde as she deepened their kiss.

Slowly Lexa started to move down Clarke's body with her hands and mouth. She moved further and further down until she was kneeling in the water before the blonde who was splayed out across the smooth surface. Lexa placed both of Clarke's thighs over her shoulders and began kissing up them, starting from one knee all the way up to the juncture where the blonde's thigh connected to the rest of her.

Clarke let out breathless moans as Lexa traced every line and muscle of her lower body with her skilled fingers and tongue. Clarke was on the verge of begging Lexa to take her when she felt the firm warmness of Lexa's tongue divide her slick folds. Her hand found purchase in Lexa's brown hair as the girl continued her mapping of the new part of Clarke she so much wanted.

Lexa moved her tongue to tease Clarke's entrance, pressing her lips against the labia, she drug her tongue upwards, flat and strong against Clarke's sensitive flesh until she reached the bundle of nerves at the top. She flicked it once with her tongue and that made Clarke gasp for breath and her hips buck.

Lexa began purposefully scrolling her tongue over the blonde's clit sucking, licking, using the smallest amount of teeth until Clarke's hips began to buck up with the wanting of more friction. Clarke was tangling her fingers more and more into Lexa's long hair as the Commander continued. Between the moans and gasps at the different ministrations that Lexa was doing she heard Clarke say her name.

"Oh Lexa!" Clarke called out, and at that Lexa pulled Clarke's clit into her mouth and simultaneously began sucking and flicking circles around it.

"Heda!" Clarke moaned out and for some reason hearing the Sky Girl call her that in the heat of this moment sent an electric bolt through Lexa's body and she moaned into Clarke clit. The vibrations of it caused Clarke's breath to hitch and her back to arch up off of the rock.

Lexa moved one hand from holding Clarke in place down to tease Clarke's entrance; she knew the girl was close. She began to put pressure with one finger on the sensitive hole and slowly pressed further into Clarke. She moaned as Lexa's finger rubbed against the walls of her core, the muscles tensing and relaxing and odd intervals causing more and more pleasure.

Lexa began to thrust into Clarke; pulling her finger almost all of the way out and then pushing it back it in. She started slowly, but moved with more purpose to match her thrusts with the circles and flicks her tongue was inflicting on Clarke's clit.

She felt Clarke on the cusp of orgasm, the legs around her shoulders began to tighten and she saw the muscles in Clarke's stomach tense. Lexa started moving faster and deeper within Clarke and added a second finger. At the new amount of pressure Clarke could feel her entire body set aflame with orgasm. She clenched around Lexa's fingers and tried to hold it back for as long as she could before it took over and she released.

Lexa helped her through the climax, watching as Clarke's muscles gave out and slumped against the rock. Lexa placed a kiss to Clarke's inner thigh and washed her hand in the water against her knee. Lexa pulled herself up onto the rock next to an exhausted Clarke and pulled the girl close to her.

Clarke rolled on her side so that they were face to face and intertwined their fingers. Lexa was smiling and Clarke couldn't help but laugh happily.

"What?" Lexa asked furrowing her eyebrows at the girl's laughter.

"You're smiling." She said brushing the pad of her thumb over Lexa's cheek, "I like it."

Lexa's smile grew, "Well I am fairly certain you made your point. Although was the slap really necessary?"

"Oh whatever, you liked it." Clarke accused and pressed a kiss to Lexa's lips. "I do want you to know that I understand why would want to protect me though, but Lexa I don't need to be protected. If the Ice Nation comes then let them come we will be ready and strong."

"I know Clarke," she began pulling their entangled hands between them. "You are one of the strongest people I have ever known, but I can't risk losing you. I care about you too much to have you hurt or worse because of me. I apologize for avoiding you and leaving you at the mountain again but-"

Clarke pressed her thumb against Lexa's lips, "You don't have to apologize Lexa, just promise me you will never leave me again."

Lexa nodded and pressed her lips against Clarke's thumb, "I can promise you that."

Clarke leaned in and kissed her again, "Oh, will you also promise not to rip off my underwear again? Those were a perfectly good pair."

Lexa laughed, "That I do not think I can promise."

Clarke rolled her eyes and looked around them, the sun was almost completely gone beneath the horizon, "We probably should head back to camp, people are probably wondering what happened to us."

Lexa just pulled her closer; this was one place that she could do such a thing, without prying eyes and the privacy of the forest around them. A place where they didn't have to be leaders, "We will make it back soon, but for now just lay here with me?"

Clarke nuzzled into Lexa's embrace, the warm steam from the water floating over their bare, entwined bodies.


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke awoke the next morning in the warmth of her own tent back at Camp Jaha. She and Lexa had spent what seemed like hours moving between lying with each other on the rocks and the warmth of the water. They only decided to leave their own little sanctuary when the steaming vapors that rose from the lake started to fade into the night.

Lexa had ridden with Clarke all the way back until they reached the split in the electric fence that Raven still had deactivated. It was late and no one would notice them approaching. They didn't say anything the entire way back, they didn't need to, they simply enjoyed the comfortable silence between them.

Lexa had left Clarke with a gentle, almost chaste, kiss and a nod before turning back to her horse and riding into the night.

Clarke walked out of her tent, trying to conceal the smile that was constantly tugging at the corners of her mouth. She was happy and that was very new to her. It had been so long since she had felt warmth like this growing inside her, like there wasn't a hardened survival laced chain binding around her heart. A chain that kept her solely focused on saving the lives of her people and just making sure they survived until the next day.

Things were better, and she hoped so badly that they would stay that way.

The blonde made her way through camp, greeting people as she passed. Camp Jaha was busy with life and the morning light had just started peaking around the hills. They were making a lot of progress; small shack lodges were being built that would eventually be turned into homes once the winter was through. People were being trained; the kids that were rescued from Mount Weather had taken a sort of leadership role among the rest of the Sky People. They were finally working together to live and that was something Clarke was ecstatic about.

As she walked into the small dining area inside the Ark, Clarke saw both Raven and Octavia sitting together and laughing. She walked over to one of the crates that held some fruit and picked up an apple, but when she turned around she was met with sly smirks and a few arched eyebrows.

"What?" she said taking a bite out of her apple.

Raven just laughed and Clarke furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Octavia was trying to hold in a laugh as well and instead shook her head at the blonde.

"You do realize that you not as sneaky as you think you are right?" the young brunette commented, a smug look crossing her face.

Clarke could feel the blush starting to rise in her cheeks, "I don't know what you're talking about." She stated matter of factly.

"Oh please, don't even try to hide it Clarke. Bellamy already told us you went to go see Lexa last night when you missed dinner and you do realize I set an alarm on that section of the fence to let me know when someone goes through it right?" Raven said, her laughing stopped and she crossed her arms across her chest.

 _Shit. Well there's no use in denying it now_. Clarke thought, but couldn't help her blush grow deeper. Instead of saying anything in reply she simply took another bite out of her apple. Then the amused smirks turned more serious and Clarke knew where this was headed.

She just rolled her eyes before either girl in front of her could say a word. "Please do not give me a lecture about Lexa. Please? Save you judgment for another time."

Octavia sighed and sat more upright in her chair, "Clarke, we all know there's something between you two. That has really obvious for a long time, and trust me I'm the last person who will judge you for being with someone that others think is a savage monster. I get it, I do, but Lexa has broken your trust before. How do you know that she isn't going to do it again?"

Clarke leaned against the cool wall of the room, "I don't, but I do know she won't make any decisions that affects me unless she knows I can handle it." she looked down at her half eaten apple. "I get where you two are coming from. You've had your own issues with her, well both of us really, in the past and that it's going to take time for this to be accepted, but its happening. Whatever it is, I don't even know, but-I guess we have done nothing but focus on surviving. Shouldn't life be about more than just that?"

She looked back up and both girls had smiles on their faces, "Oh gods, one night together and you're already this sappy?" Raven teased.

"Oh please tell me that the Commander is a secret hopeless romantic too." Octavia joked and Clarke just shook her head and threw her apple at the two who ducked and started laughing. Both of them got up and started moving towards the door when Raven stopped and looked back at the blonde who had taken another apple.

"Look, it's weird I'm not gonna lie, just because of everything that has happened with this war but if she makes you happy that's all that really matters." With a smile both girls were gone.

Clarke had stayed in the room a while longer thinking about the night before. She was planning on riding over the Grounder Camp later on in the day, but for now she still had a desk full of files to go through. After a few hours, Clarke heard a commotion outside of the Ark and gathered her stuff and started out towards the gates.

She ran into the Raven on the way past the mechanics bay and joined the others outside. When they reached the midday sun and looked towards the gates, they were being opened to let a group of Grounders through.

Clarke's heart instantly skipped a beat as she saw Lexa ride through the gates on her horse. She must have had a grin on her face because she soon felt a jab in her ribs by an elbow and Raven laughed at her. She started walking towards the group and met eye contact with Lexa who was passing her horse onto one of guards.

"Oh so now you show up for a meeting? What's changed Commander?" Clarke asked through a grin, since the day prior the majority of her thoughts had been simply on Lexa. She knew it was mainly because this was something new, something that she hadn't really experienced before. But it felt right, it felt like she didn't have to try, like things were just understood when she was around Lexa and who would blame her for being excited to the other woman.

Lexa returned her smile, it was small, but incredibly genuine and Clarke could tell she was here on official business. "I have no reason to stay away." Lexa replied. Before anymore words between the two could be shared, Abby and Kane had made their way over and both girls turned their smiles back into neutral expressions.

"Commander, it's good to see you." Kane greeted and Abby just politely smiled and agreed.

"What brings you here?" Abby asked.

Lexa straightened her posture, the Commander was fully here now, "We have news about a meeting of the Clans regarding the Ice Nation." And with that they all made their way into the Council Room of the Ark.

All of the Council Members with addition of Bellamy had joined them along with the Grounder Generals that had accompanied Lexa. Once everyone was settled, it was time for business. Clarke watched as Lexa spoke and remembered what Lincoln had said that day before about Lexa noticeably changing. She hadn't realized it before, but seeing her now it was like the cold was slowly defrosting, even with the situation at hand.

"We have just gotten word back from the farthest of the clans, we sent word in regards to dealing with the Ice Nation if it came to that. All of the leaders have agreed to meet at our current base camp. All of the farther nations are on their way, we should be able to hold the meeting in a week. They have asked that we find out any other information that we can about what exactly was sent to and from the Ice Nation to the Mountain Men." The Commander spoke, "Have you been able to recover any more information from the bunker?"

"We have almost finished going through the files on their computer hard drives," Kane started, "We have found some more photos of both of our camps, but we think the actual correspondence has been recorded on paper which is taking us a lot longer to go through."

"We did manage to figure out what exactly Mount Weather was getting out that alliance though," Abby spoke up, meeting the Commander's expectant gaze, "The Ice Nation was providing them resources that they were unable to produce for themselves. They were also bringing them people, kidnapped grounders from other clans to be drained. It seems that the Ice Nation has had a bigger presence in this area than you initially thought."

"We knew they had spies in the area, even after the Coalition was formed, but if they have been spying and kidnapping form other Clans along with our own, that is a violation of our treaty." Lexa's voice was harsher, the information coming as a small surprise.

"So what do we do?" Clarke asked, she was standing right next to Lexa they were almost touching, "If we can get the other Clans on our side are we launching an attack? Starting another war?"

Everyone fell silent, they knew the implications. A war could very well destroy what they had tried to build up since they arrived. "We would have to look at all of our options, if they do try to attack us do they even have the numbers to contend with army of the Clans?" Bellamy questioned.

"The Ice Nation is the largest of all the Clans, their numbers are far greater than ours, but not nearly enough to take on a united army." Indra began, "There are other clans that may follow them; clans that do not like the presence of the Sky People."

"These are things to be discussed with the other leaders," the Commander interjected, "They have not attacked yet, but I am sure they know the Mountain has fallen, I have brought people with me who can help go through information, gather as much as you can and we will begin preparations for the meeting."

A week had passed and almost every day Clarke had Lexa had seen each other. It was as if neither could stay away from the other. Lexa would find reasons to come to Camp Jaha with updates or bringing people and resources to help build the settlement. Clarke would say she was going to help train healers in the Camp or learn about culture.

They weren't hiding, and even if they were they were doing a terrible job and Clarke had a pretty good feeling the majority of her people and Lexa's knew that something was going on between the leaders. But in reality, they didn't even know what was going on between them. After that night at the waterfall they had spent almost every night together. Loving, talking, or simply just finding comfort in other's presence. They mainly talked about their cultures, Lexa was fascinated with what it was like on the Ark and Clarke would tell her anything she wanted to know just to keep the look on the brunette's face that she got while listening to the stories.

They had known each other for less than half a year, but it was as if they were simply old friends who just been reunited after spending so much time apart. Clarke slowly learned more and more about Lexa. The woman was such a mystery that Clarke almost didn't want to know anymore because she was so intrigued by it, but she also wanted to put the puzzle together.

During her time on the Ark and mainly in her cell Clarke had read so many books about so many things. One of things she read about was Russian nesting dolls. How she had come across a book on those she didn't remember, but she thought Lexa was like one. There was so many layers to her it was unbelievable, once you got through one shell there was another just waiting to be taken apart and figured out, the designs on it there to be studied.

The night before the meeting, Clarke had decided to stay with Lexa at the Camp. It was turning out to be one of those nights that they simply talked in candle lit tent. Their conversation had changed from so many topics and somehow they had ended up on the one that they had been unconsciously avoiding for a week.

"So what do you think… about us?" Clarke said twisting her body on the bed of furs they were sharing so she was facing the other girl.

"What do you mean?" Lexa asked a bit of confusion pulling at her features.

"I don't know, about what we are. About where we are going, if we are anything." Clarke internally scolded herself because she knew she was probably just confusing the girl even more.

Lexa turned her head toward the blonde, her back leaning against a large feather pillow. "Clarke, you know what my feelings are towards you. You had mentioned before the invasion that you weren't ready to be with anyone else, if that still stands we may continue how we are doing what we are doing, but if you want things to change all you need is to ask and they will, but I do not want you to think you have to rush to define this because I am not going anywhere."

Clarke pushed up and leaned on her elbows, it was up to her. She wanted to be with Lexa, she knew she was ready, all she had to do were say the words and Lexa would be hers without any hesitation. Her own fears, however crept back into her mind about all of the betrayal and all of loss and burdens she has been carrying since they landed and for some reason those fears of losing everything by taking a chance, by doing something for herself were the only thing causing her to pause.

Clarke looked up and green eyes and a warm smile welcomed her, all of those thoughts faded in that moment. She leaned over and met Lexa's lips in a kiss.

The next morning they had woken up before the sun rose, the Clan leaders were arriving today for the meeting. Clarke was still in Lexa's tent gathering some maps to move them into the war tent when she heard a halt in the commotion outside.

Usually this signaled the arrival of another Clan leader so Clarke left the maps in the tent and walked out to greet them like she had done a few times already that morning. However, when she pulled back the tent to the outside, Lexa was standing there, her back to Clarke. She was rigid, like a statue that was had yet to be smoothed.

Clarke walked to Lexa's side, concern pooling within her. Something was wrong, she could feel it. Lexa's eyes were trained on camp's entrance. Everyone was paused, generals and warriors at the gates had their weapons at the ready.

When Clarke realized what she was seeing, her jaw dropped and she became as tense as the Commander beside her.

 _No. How did this happen? How did they know?_


	10. Chapter 10

They were both frozen in time. One shocked beyond comprehension as realization phased through her; the other, on fire with a rage that began to boil in the pit of her stomach.

Clarke watched as strangers entered the camp. They contrasted with the lush greens and browns of the forest with their light gray and white attire. On their horses were banners that the blonde recognized from maps noting the locations of the Clans.

The Ice Nation.

They were here, how she didn't know but none of the scenarios for what she thought could happen were good. Her blue eyes came upon a figure dismounting a strong white steed. The woman was dressed in layers of cloth and armor, similar to what Lexa wore only starkly lighter and instead of a long distinct red cloth a blue one was in its place.

Out of the leaders and other clans that had arrived thus far, many were just as still as she was, however a few moved forward and greeted the Queen of the Ice Nation as if they were old friends and that her presence was nothing more than a happy coincidence.

Clarke pulled her eyes away from the woman and turned towards the one beside her. What she saw sent an unexpected shiver of fear down her spine. Lexa was even more tense than before, every muscle under exposed skin was locked and shaking. Her hands were balled into fists so tight that Clarke was surprised the white skin of her knuckles hadn't begun to break open and bleed.

Every rivet and dip in the bone of Lexa's jaw was visible as it clenched down, no doubt painfully, on her teeth. Lexa's eyes were the cause of the fear that pulsed through Clarke, however. The usually brown flecked green was now hardened. The look in them could only be described as that of a raging, starving tiger locked in a cage with a bleeding bore just inches away. Clawing, scratching, and roaring inside, the bloodlust growing as the cage started to break open.

Clarke turned her attention to the footsteps that started towards them as the Ice Queen approached. Lexa's gaze never wavered as the woman moved and Clarke could practically hear the cracking of the mask the Commander was caged behind.

The woman approached with a smile that never came close to her eyes. Her skin was pale compared to those around them and her raven colored hair, icy blue eyes, and soft but striking features would have had Clarke calling her beautiful if the woman's reputation did not precede her.

"Hello, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of introduction yet." The woman started, her voice was slightly accented. It was voice that was both like velvet and daggers, husky and alluring but you knew it could turn into a weapon at any moment.

"My name is Sura, Queen of the Ice Nation." She extended her hand.

For a moment Clarke had a fleeting feeling of wanting to run away and hide in a dark hole never to be seen again because of the way the woman was looking at her; like she was prey just waiting to be taken and killed.

This was not the time for such things, they needed to figure out how she found out, why she was here, and on top of all that not start a war in the process. So Clarke put on a polite mask, but did not take the woman's hand in greeting.

"I'm Clarke, one of the leaders of the Sky People."

Sura's look became more devilish at that, and her smile grew.

"The first Sky Person I meet is the one who took down the Mountain. I'm honored." And at that Lexa finally made a sound and scoffed.

"She is the first and the last you will meet, Sura. I suggest you leave. _Now_. Before I change my mind in allowing you to keep breathing." Lexa spat, taking step forward putting distance between Clarke and the Ice Queen.

"It seems some things haven't changed, your still as hot tempered as ever." Sura said with a smirk then looked between Clarke and Lexa, seemingly evaluating the dynamic of the two, and nodded her head and let out a throaty laugh, "and I see you've found a new girl to tame you."

She looked Clarke up and down like she was inspecting cattle before slaughter as she spoke.

"What _was_ the name of your old one?" Sura said stopping to ponder. Lexa took a step forward, but Clarke caught the girl's wrist. Clarke could feel Lexa's heartbeat racing beneath her skin. Clarke knew this was not time or the place to do this. She may have just met the woman, but she could already tell that there was something more to her risking her life by being here than just toying with Lexa; and Clarke knew Lexa understood it too.

"Costia? Yes, that's what her name was. She was such a beautiful girl; you were lucky to have her while you did. It was such a shame to watch her die like that. Heartbreaking really." Sura purred, eyes locking with Lexa's.

Lexa started reaching for her knife.

"You know Commander, I saw why you cared for her the way you did. I found myself a little hurt at her passing as well. She was so passionate in everything she did; in being a grounder, being a healer, being a lover." With the last word Sura's lips quirked into a smirk. Clarke could feel her own anger begin to burn through her.

She looked to Lexa whose eyes had moved from the woman's gaze down to the hollow of her throat. To a pendant that was held by a braided string. The pendant was a beautiful gemstone; it reminded Clarke of the one that was embedded into the handle of Lexa's prized blade. Across the gem was an intricately molded piece of metal that wrapped around it and from the shape of 'C' in the center.

"You should take the Commander's advice and leave." Clarke spoke up. Icy blue eyes met her own with a curious glint. The woman laughed again and took a step back.

"You have even more of a fire than she did. My men and I do need to set up camp, I look forward to the meeting Lexa, it has been far too long since I've been to one of these." She started to walk away, but looked over her shoulder. "It was a pleasure to meet you Clarke."

Before she could get far, Lexa broke out of Clarke's grip and stalked towards the woman. Sura turned around and Lexa moved her hand towards the woman's throat. Everyone around them seemed to notice and stopped; it became eerily quiet.

Lexa grabbed the pendant that was around the woman's neck and pulled quickly and firmly and knot in the back snapped with an echo among the silence. The two stared at each other for a few beats before Sura turned around once more with a mischievous smile and met her guards.

Everyone in the village just stared, until Lexa swept her wrathful gaze around meeting eye contact with a few who hadn't yet turned back to work and business resumed only this time with whispers and concern. Then Lexa turned her gaze to Clarke before she stamped back into her tent.

Clarke followed suit a moment after the distraught Commander. Once in the safety of her tent Lexa didn't know if she wanted to throw something, breakdown and cry, or walk right back out and slit the bitch's throat.

As soon as Clarke entered the tent, Lexa was already making a tread in the dirt floor with her pacing. The blonde didn't say anything, just stood and watched. Several minutes passed before Lexa said anything, but when she did the mask that she had tried to keep up shattered.

"How did she know? Why is here?" the Commander started, her pacing started to grow faster. "She has the audacity to come into _my_ village, full of _my_ people and say those things about Co-" Lexa stopped suddenly. The she still had the pendant firmly in her grasp and she unclenched her fist to rub her thumb across the metal.

Clarke took a step forward, "That was hers?"

Lexa didn't look up, "I gave it to her as a gift when I became Commander, I was leaving for Polis for the first time and she had to stay in our village. It was first time we had ever been apart for a long time." A sad smile crossed Lexa's face and the anger subsided just a bit for the sorrow to take its place.

Clarke moved up to Lexa's side and placed hand on the brunette's back and began to slowly rub across the fabric of her clothing, but then the sorrow turned into steel. A quiet rage, the most dangerous of all, started seeping to the surface and filled Lexa's eyes.

Lexa's voice was barely above a whisper, "I want her dead, I want to watch her suffer at my hand. A quick death would be too good for her; it would need to be drawn out, torturous. Just like she did to Costia, just like she did to the hundreds of others that she traded to the Mountain Men to be drained. I want to hear her beg for me to kill her, beg and plead until the pain becomes too much and I took the life right out of her eyes."

"Lexa-" Clarke said, but Lexa moved from her touch so she was standing right before the blonde, her chaotic mess of emotions changing once more and the anger was suppressed but not gone. Her voice shook just the slightest as she spoke.

"Clarke I need you to promise me you will not ever be alone, be with a group, be with friends, be with guards. Be with me." Lexa looked back down at the necklace, "I have already lost one person I cared about to her."

She brought her gaze back up to meet Clarke's, "I refuse to lose you too."

Clarke smiled softy and brought a hand up to cup Lexa's cheek, "I promise."

Lexa let out a shaky sigh and placed the necklace in a pocket of her jacket, "We need find out what she knows, why she is here, and who betrayed our secrecy."

Lexa turned towards the table at the edge of the room and grabbed the canteen that was on it, taking a drink. "Some of the other leaders didn't look surprised to see her. I remember you telling me that during the war between the twelve clans that the Ice Nation had allies, could one of them have sent word? Betrayed the Coalition?"

Lexa offered the canteen to Clarke, "The Coalition was never strong, it was only ever agreed to by everyone because we were losing so many people. During the war it was never said but the clans were divided, and four of them aligned with Sura and her army. Sometimes I wonder why I even bothered with it, now we are just sneaking around and faking trust."

"Lexa, you made the Coalition, because it was best thing to do for your people." Clarke tried to reassure Lexa. The Commander had never second guessed her decisions, not until now and that was something Clarke wasn't going to allow to continue.

"I made the Coalition to try an escape a weakness, to prove that I wouldn't invade them for revenge." She said her voice was sharper this time.

Clarke physically turned the Commander to face her, her hands gripping the other woman's upper arms so she couldn't turn away.

"Love _does not_ have to be weakness, and it wasn't then. Mourning Costia's death does not make you weak; making decisions because you care about someone does not make you weak. Making the Coalition was not because you were forcing yourself to be strong Lexa; you've never had to prove that. You made the Coalition in strength that wasn't forced, strength that came because you loved Costia and you didn't want to ruin her memory by sending more to their deaths."

Clarke moved forward and pressed her forehead against Lexa's, she could feel the other girl's warm breath and her voice was so soft, but firm enough to make her point, "It doesn't have to weakness. You just have to make the choice to let yourself believe it to be strength. Don't let her make you second guess yourself, second guess us because you care. She is trying to get under your skin, to ruin your leadership. Don't give her that satisfaction."

Clarke's eyes met with Lexa's again, her heartbeat had calmed, her features were less tense. "Why do you always know exactly what to say?"

Clarke smiled, "Because whether you want to admit or not, I do know you. Costia will be avenged one way or another, Sura will pay with blood eventually and trust me we will get that stupid grin off that woman's face too, but at the moment your people need you to avoid a war."

Lexa brought a hand up and brushed her thumb across Clarke's cheek and tilted her head up to catch Clarke's lips in a kiss.

Clarke was right, though she would never actually voice it to the blonde because she would never hear the end of it. She didn't have to view love as weakness because it never needed to be. Her actions after Costia's death were rooted in what she deemed to be defying and suppressing weakness and in a way they were, but they were also built on the premise of the love she held for her. Lexa had hidden away from it for so long, but now with Clarke she had an opportunity to accept love for what it was. As painful as love could be, you had a choice for it to destroy you in weakness or build you higher in strength.

The Ice Queen had manipulated her into viewing it as weakness, but that was about to change.


	11. Chapter 11

The rest of that day was full of whispering and distraction. Sura and her guards hadn't been back inside camp yet and Lexa was finally calming down. The last of the Clan leaders arrived in the late afternoon and Lexa was informing those whom she knew she could trust about the arrival of the Azgeda.

Abby and a few others had arrived during the day and were equally as shocked to hear of the news and honestly Clarke just wanted to stop hearing about it.

It was later in the evening and people had been bustling around their make shift village getting ready to eat the day's hunt and Clarke was gathering some dried fruits and fresh water for her and Lexa for the night. It was something she was becoming accustomed too now, because waking up in the middle of the night to an empty fur covered bed just so that the Commander could get a late night snack was not the most pleasant thing in the world, so for the past couple of days Clarke had been grabbing something for Lexa before everyone sat down to eat just to make sure there was something left.

She was taking a little longer this time, getting lost in her own thoughts. Their food and water storages were in a corner of the camp that was finally empty. She was finally able to get away, even though she had promised Lexa she wouldn't be alone, she was close enough to the camp that it should be fine.

"So tell me Sky Girl, how are you liking the ground?" the accented voice startled Clarke from her thoughts and she spun around to see that same smirk that she just wanted to punch.

"What are you doing here Sura?" Clarke said, voice laced with annoyance as she turned back to finish gathering the fruit.

"Friendly conversation among leaders." Sura said nonchalantly. Clarke felt the woman's hand brush past her arm as she reached around and took a small dried berry and the blonde realized that she was in a much closer proximity to the other woman than she wanted to be.

Clarke instantly moved out of the space and began to turn back, "I should get back."

"Oh come now Clarke." Sura said smoothly moving so that she was blocking Clarke from going any further in any direction within the already small space. "Lexa will wait for you, and besides I've been dying to ask you some questions about what's it's like In the sky."

Clarke's frustration started to build. She and Lexa had eventually agreed to play nice for the time being, play things out and figure out the Ice Queen's endgame before taking any action. They weren't going to go rushing blindly into a situation with this woman while there was still even a possibility of threat to their people, but Clarke wouldn't be Clarke if she wasn't just a bit more stubborn that what she should be.

"Why do have such a problem with her? Why are you even here Sura? Obviously there's something more going on here or else you wouldn't have been stupid enough to come here and expect to leave with your life after what you did." Clarke spat her frustration from the day had officially taken control.

The raven haired woman's smirk just grew wider and a low chuckle escaped her, "Oh you are a clever girl aren't you? You've figured me out, but why would I tell you my plans? That would just take all the fun out it."

Sura took a small step towards Clarke, invading more into her personal space, "But I like you Clarke, so I'll let you give you a hint. Has Lexa ever told you about how she became Commander? What she had to do in order to cement her position?" Her voice was low and threatening, poison dripped from every word.

Clarke dismissed the words, knowing that they were said only to garner a reaction, to plant a seed.

"Is this all a game to you? Playing with people's lives for what? Power?" Clarke's own voice was harsh; she was not going to back down form this woman.

Sura didn't move, her body still trapping Clarke, but her pale eyes flickered with a malevolent darkness. "Have you ever played chess Clarke?" she didn't reply, but the woman seemed to get her answer.

"War is a lot like it. All it is, is a game of strategy. Knowing what moves will serve you best in the right moments and being able to read your opponent, sensing what they will do before the thought even crosses their mind. War is a game of thrones, a game of power, of survival and people do whatever they must in order to achieve it. And people end up choosing hostile paths in the thrill of it all."

She took another step forward so all that was between them was the bowl of fruits and the canteens.

"I have, Lexa has, you have. We are constantly at war, Clarke, no matter what it is we are seeking be it the power or the throne or survival we are always fighting. Searching for that next move, listening in on the thoughts of our adversaries to map out theirs so we can get what we want."

Clarke felt her body tense, Sura's gaze was so strong and intense and it was mapping Clarke, searching for her next move.

"My move will be revealed soon enough, Sky Princess, but your Commander already knows what it is. She just has to sit and join the game."

Sura leaned forward just enough to ghost her lips across the trapped girl's cheek. It was there then it was gone, but in that moment Clarke felt a stab of pure unadulterated fear pulse through her involuntarily. Then the Ice Queen was gone.

When Clarke was alone again, she let go of her breath that had been sucked back into her lungs and it burned as the oxygen came rushing back to her. She gathered her things and walked straight back to Lexa. She was never going to be alone again.

Dinner went by and Clarke made conversation with some of the trusted leaders. Lexa was talking with Luna; they were old friends and seemed to be catching up.

"Clarke?"

"Hmm?" Clarke said her mind becoming clear and focusing on her mother who had sat down next to her.

"Are you alright honey?" the doctor asked concern worrying in her voice.

Clarke shook her head and put on a smile, "Yeah, Mom, I'm fine. I'm just tired; it's been a long day."

Abby smiled back and placed a hand on one of her daughters, "Look, Clarke, I realize we really haven't spoken a lot in the past week, but I wanted to apologize. I know I have made it fairly obvious that I'm not the biggest supporter of your relationship with Lexa and I know that that's hurt you. You're my only child and as much as I want you to stay that little girl that I raised on the Ark. So much has changed and you have become a wonderful young woman, but you've also grown up even if you were forced too, you're not a child anymore."

Abby gave Clarke's hand a squeeze and looked over towards Lexa then back to her daughter, "If she makes you happy then that's all that matters." The smile that formed on her mother was the first one that was first truly genuine one she had seen on the woman when talking about Lexa, especially her and Lexa.

Clarke smiled back; maybe her mother was finally coming around even if it had been a month since Lexa had saved her life from a gun crazed Mountain Man.

Abby was called over by Kane and let Clarke go with a short hug. Lexa looked over then and met Clarke's gaze with a warming smile, but when her gaze left back to her conversation Sura's words crept back up into the forefront of Clarke's mind.

The seed had indeed been planted.

 _What did she mean, what did Lexa do to become Commander? Why would that even matter? Gods Clarke, you shouldn't have let her keep talking. You should've just punched her that would have been a hell of better plan then stand there like an idiot ready and willing to be manipulated._

Clarke sighed and got up from her seat before the fire. Everyone seemed to be too busy to notice her absence so she decided it would be best to go try and get her mind off of everything and headed towards the Commander's tent.

She settled down on the bed of furs with one of the books she had brought with her. There was a full library in Mount Weather and Clarke had been taking books regularly. Usually she would read about historical events and usually she would read aloud to Lexa who would simply sit and listen. Tonight, however, she needed a distraction she needed a new world to transport her mind too so she opened _The Time Machine_ by H.G. Wells and got lost in the words.


	12. Chapter 12

Lexa had been deep in conversation with Luna, leader of the Boat People, about what they were going to do about Sura. They had assumed that one of the other leaders had disclosed the information about the meeting to the Queen. Throughout the war between the 12 Clans, alliances had formed and even with the Coalition in place and the war ended it would not be far-fetched idea to assume that some of those old loyalties among leaders still stood.

The campfire in the middle of the village still raged and people busied themselves with their food when Lexa noticed Clarke leave and head back towards their tent. She recognized the look on the blonde's face, something was wrong, but Lexa also knew that Clarke usually needed her space, a luxury rarely given to her so Lexa let her be. Just to be safe, however, and to make sure Clarke wasn't alone with Sura and her guards nowhere to be seen Lexa motioned for two of her personal guards to go stand watch outside of the tent.

Clarke had been reading the same paragraph over and over again for the past several minutes. Eventually the young leader slammed the book closed and pinched the bridge of her nose out of frustration. Clarke's mind was running wild, a chaotic mess as the poison words crept further and further into her mind.

She hadn't meant to focus on Sura's words earlier, but unfortunately they made her think. Was their more to this than Lexa was telling her? Was there a deeper history between the two? Why had she mentioned when Lexa became Commander? Did she do something?

The questions raged on and on.

"You never came back." Clarke looked up to meet her Commander's eyes that were filled with concern. Lexa was leaning against one of the posts of the tent, arms crossed over chest. "I noticed you leave, figured I give you some peace and quiet. There is still some meat left if you're hungry."

"No, I'm fine thanks and I'm sorry you were talking to Luna and I didn't want to interrupt."

Lexa moved forward and sat facing Clarke on the edge of the bed. Clarke's voice was saying one thing, but the expression on her face was still the same; troubled. "What's wrong Clarke? Something's bothering you, I can tell."

Clarke didn't reply. She wanted to ask the questions to get some sense of clarity. She didn't want Sura to succeed in a putting a wedge between them, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for the possible answers.

When Clarke didn't reply, Lexa moved her hand up and tilted the girl's chin up with her thumb. Lexa's voice matched her gentle expression, "Whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me."

Clarke sighed and leaned back, she began to explain what had happened the few hours prior. She told Lexa everything that happened, she didn't want any secrets and if she was going to get answers she was going to get them with all of the information in play.

Lexa's expression continuously changed throughout the explanation, flitting between anger that Sura had the audacity to trap Clarke like that and kiss her; albeit it was on the cheek but still. Disappointment that Clarke had found herself alone, but with the girl's stubbornness it wasn't all too surprising. Her features finally settled to a bit of scrunch of concern and confusion at what was implicated by the Ice Queen's words.

When Clarke finished she let a silence seep in between them as Lexa continued to process. Finally the blonde spoke, "Lexa is there more to this than you've told me? Do you know why she is so hell bent on hating you and ruining your life?" Clarke's voice lowered to a soft whisper, "it seems like this is more about revenge then power."

Lexa didn't speak for a while. She was facing Clarke, but her eyes were elsewhere; deep within the caverns of her mind clearly trying to make sense out of all of this. As far as she knew, this was all about power and she had no idea what she would've done to cause Sura to want to seek revenge to this extent.

"Clarke, I honestly have no idea why she would have a personal grudge with me. The extent of the relationship between us is political; she has never been a friend to me or anything more than that." Lexa reassured. "I've always thought that this was just something based out of greed for power. The Ice Nation is a monarchy and has been ruled by the same family since its creation. They have always wanted our lands and to take over our Clan, that's why the war started with them in the first place. I always assumed that Sura was no different. Either way, Clarke, we will figure this out. We will stop whatever she is planning before any more innocent blood is spilled."

Lexa reached forward and entangled their fingers, "I'm sorry you have been put in this situation, but I promise you I have not lied to you about this. You know everything I do."

Clarke knew Lexa was telling the truth, but she still searched the Commander's face to see if there was even a hint of doubt or deceit. Once satisfied Clarke adjusted herself and leaned her head on Lexa's shoulder.

"She's trying to tear us apart." She whispered into the girl's braids.

Lexa started running her fingers through the girl's hair soothingly, "Whatever her motivations are, she will not succeed. We have found our way to each other once, Clarke, and if we will always find our way back."

Clarke pulled her head from the crook of the girl's neck and met green eyes alive with passion. "Osir keryon ste tenia. Our souls are entwined, Clarke."

Clarke smiled at the woman before her and leaned forward to catch her lips in a passionate kiss.

That night they had fallen asleep with limbs sprawling and entangled in one another. Clarke awoke from her sleep; she had heard something rustling outside but dismissed it as an animal. With as many nights Clarke had spent here the amount of strange noises in the middle of night that woke her up began to dwindle. She readjusted herself within the furs, gently prying one of her arms out from underneath the lightly snoring Commander who let out a groan in subconscious protest.

Clarke once comfortably settled she finally closed her eyes again onto to reopen them as the same rustling sound occurred. This it sounded closer.

Clarke had always been a curious person and sometimes that curiosity got the better of her. This was definitely one of those moments; she wanted to find out what was so close to their tent. She looked over to the girl next to her and slowly untangled herself as to not wake her up. Once free, Clarke slipped on a pair of pants and her boots, slipped on a jacket, and exited the tent.

Lexa couldn't be mad her because she wouldn't be alone. After the arrival of the Ice Nation, and more specifically after the incident with Clarke, Lexa had ordered the guard patrol to increase. The night patrol would already be at the edges of the camps and walking through the village to make sure there were no threats to their slumbering people.

Clarke instantly wrapped her arms around her chest, the jacket she had grabbed was fairly thin and the night wind sent shivers down her spine. She moved around the tent, searching for the culprit of the rustling noises.

The camp was eerily quiet, there usually wasn't much commotion at this time of night, but this was different and Clarke got a sinking feeling in her stomach. She should go back inside the tent; she should forget she even came out here in the first place.

As she turned back to tent's entrance, she saw something glint in the moonlight. She looked between the tent and the item on the forest floor and even though her brain was screaming at her not to, she took a few steps towards the item.

The blonde couched down in front of the item and picked it up. It was a knife.

As she examined the blade she noticed the fresh crimson spatters on the handle and the edge. Her stomach sank as she focused on the hilt. She recognized this blade; it belonged to one of Lexa's most trusted personal guards. Clarke's eyes shifted from the knife to the leaf litter she found it on and her breath stopped in her lungs.

The ground in front of her was soaked with droplets and puddles of blood that looked like black ink against the night light. She followed the trail of blood with her eyes as it led towards a thicket of trees. Clarke stood and clutched the dagger in her hand as she slowly followed the trail. The stealth training Lexa had insisted on was coming in handy right about now and she could imagine the girl's smug face when she knew she was right.

Clarke passed a few trees then the blood trail stopped and Clarke froze. The body of the guard had been dragged and left at the base of a large tree. His throat was slashed and his blood stained everything around him.

Clarke's adrenaline started kicking in; she needed to get back to the tent. As soon as Clarke turned around to start her sprint back to the Commander's tent, back to Lexa, she collided with something blunt to the top of her forehead.

Pain seared through her and she fell to her knees, and then slumped over into the dirt. Her head felt heavy and her vision started to blur. She tried to pick herself back up, to gain some sort of bearing but suddenly there was another blow to the back of head this time, and everything turned black.


	13. Chapter 13

Clarke heard muffled voices around her as she started to come back into reality. Her head was throbbing and her eyes were flooded with a grey light that she only assumed was dawn of the new morning.

 _What happened?_

She asked herself, her mind was foggy, but the haze was slowly starting to fade. She remembered what happened. _Noises. Blood. Body. Run. Lexa. Run. Nothing_. She internally slapped herself at her stupidity. _I should have just left it alone._

Her vision was still blurred, but as the rest of her sense came back to her the pain in her head started getting worse. She went to move her hand to feel the wound, but she couldn't move. She couldn't move her hands. She couldn't move her legs. The rest of the haze was gone in an instant and was replaced by the adrenaline of panic. She started struggling, her arms were above her head and her legs were outstretched; she was tied so tightly she could feel the rope digging into her skin. She felt firmness at her back and realized she was tied to a wooden pole. She tried to scream out, but her sounds were muffled by a cloth around her mouth. Her panic only rose more when she tasted the earthy dirt of the cloth.

Clarke continued to struggle and struggle and was only succeeding in making her head throb even more and her wrists and ankles burn as the rope rubbed against them.

"Struggling will do you no good Clarke," she could practically hear the woman smirk, "I'm so glad you're finally awake."

Clarke looked towards the accent and confirmed the smirk on Sura's face. The Ice Queen stood from the log she was sitting on and moved towards Clarke. The blonde finally took a beat to register her surroundings. They were in a clearing among the trees, she had no idea where. They weren't alone, however, a few of a Sura's guards stood at either end of the clearing constantly scanning the perimeter.

Clarke was furious, she tried to scream again through the gag and wriggled her wrists and ankles to try and break the rope. Sura chuckled as she approached Clarke, "Shhh," she whispered as she stepped up right in front of the trapped blonde and placed two fingers over Clarke's cloth covered lips. Sura's eyes flickered across Clarke's face, "Let's take this off shall we?"

Sura's fingers traced along Clarke's jaw until they wrapped around the back of head and untied the cloth. As soon as her mouth was uncovered, Clarke began to wail. Sura's sudden laugh cut through Clarke's screams and the blonde halted her voice; her chest was heaving and her teeth were gritted in anger.

"Scream all you like darling, no one will hear you. Do you honestly think I would bring you to a place where you could be heard?"

"What do you want? Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?" Clarke spat through gritted teeth. This only made Sura laugh again and the woman came back towards her from where she had set the cloth down.

"Oh you silly girl, I don't plan on killing you." She was standing right in front of the blonde once more, so close that Clarke could feel the heat of her breath. Sura brought one of her hands up and traced the side of the girl's face with a finger. Her eyes were curious and followed the path of her finger. "You are far too pretty to kill just yet," the raven-haired woman's voice came out as a husky whisper, "Besides, I have other plans for you, Sky Girl."

Sura's finger trailed down and brushed over Clarke's lips. Clarke pulled her head to the side and the woman chuckled before bringing Clarke's back to look at her. Clarke didn't know what to say. This woman made her skin crawl and all she wanted to do was run back to Lexa. She felt so helpless here, tied up and at the mercy of a mad woman.

Clarke forcibly met Sura's gaze and her anger began to resurface and so did the urge to punch her in the pretty, smug face. Someone would come for her, someone would notice she was gone. Lexa would. She just needed to buy enough time for that to happen.

"And what plans might those be?" Clarke asked. Her gaze never faltered, but when the woman cocked her head to the side and leaned closer to her, the blonde couldn't help but gulp. There was just something off about her, something wicked.

"All in due time Clarke." Sura purred, but her eyes began to wander again across Clarke's features, "You are truly a vision. I told you before I see why the Commander is so taken with you, but now I truly understand."

Clarke's muscles tensed as Sura's other hand started tracing up her side, fingers grazing the exposed skin of her hip, where her shirt has risen due to her arms' position. Sura's eyes moved downward, scrutinizing every part of the blonde. "Tell me Clarke, do you love her?"

Ice and sky blue met each other as Sura tilted her head back up, her hand still tracing up and down Clarke's side. Clarke didn't reply.

"Does she caress you? Does she map every inch of your body with hers? Is her touch gentle? Rough? Or do you take control?" Sura's lips quirked upward devilishly, she was so close.

Clarke's mind began to race, she was so incredibly uncomfortable. She felt violated and she couldn't do anything about it. Her breathing started to increase with both frustration and terror. Sura's hands started roaming her body and her muscles clenched at every pass.

Sura's voice lowered, the husk of it growing rougher by the lower octave. "Does she touch you where you need? Satisfy your every craving? Does she kiss you like the sun will never rise without it?"

Clarke gulped. Sura was so close to her, only millimeters came between their noses. Then Sura closed the distance between them and every part of Clarke froze. The woman's lips were firm and moist. She wasn't Lexa, they weren't the decadently soft and passionate lips Clarke was so accustomed too. Clarke felt Sura try and deepen the kiss.

The young leader's anger exploded. _No!_

As soon as Sura's bottom lip was within range, Clarke pulled it into her mouth and bit down so hard and fast that she felt the tender skin burst between her teeth. Sura screamed in pain and rage and ripped herself away from the blonde.

Now Clarke was one with the smug smirk on her blood stained lips as she watched the pale woman before her wipe the blood from her broken lip. Only a moment passed before Sura was back, this time with her hand grasping the sides of Clarke's face and thrusting blonde hair back into the pole behind her.

Clarke's vision faltered at the sudden contact, but when it readjusted the once curious ice blue eyes were now a dark raging storm of pure wrath.

"You stupid girl!" Sura growled. "How dare you! If my plans did not require you being alive for the time being I would have your head."

Sura released Clarke's face with enough force to send her head crashing back against the wood once more. The Ice Queen turned towards a guard who had just appeared. He said something in a language that was unfamiliar to her. Sura responded then turned back to her.

"It seems as if it's time to move things along." She moved back in front of Clarke, "I am going to enjoy listening to you beg for me to kill you."

As Sura turned to leave she motioned to another guard who grabbed the cloth gag again and roughly retied it around her head, tighter she add.

Lexa awoke to the early morning sun peering through the patches in the tent walls. The Commander stretched her limbs, but opened her eyes when she reached over to find she was alone in the furs. Sitting up Lexa looked about the tent to find no trace of her blonde lover.

This wasn't the first time she had woken up alone, Clarke sometimes got up before her and started her day or simply went to the nearby cliff to sit and sketch. Lexa noticed that Clarke's jacket and boots were also gone.

 _She's probably just sketching the sunrise again._

Lexa smiled at the thought, she loved it when Clarke sketched even though it did take some persuading sometimes for the stubborn blonde to let her see her drawings. She was amazed at the talent the girl had, it was one of the many things Lexa found so infatuating about Clarke.

The Commander quickly finished dressing and with a smile on her face went towards the cliff face to go find the girl. As she walked towards the camp's main entrance she spotted a few of the guards who were on patrol the night before, they looked distressed.

They immediately silenced upon her approach as she asked what was going on.

"We cannot find Jefferson." One guard with a short black beard and hair stated, "He was guarding outside of your tent as usual Heda, but he never reported this morning."

Lexa frowned, she knew Jefferson. He was one of her most trusted warriors, she had even given him a blade as a gift of gratitude for his valor; he had saved many villagers during a fire that had burnt down half of one of the villages. It wasn't like him to not report in.

"Send a few guards to search the surrounding forest. Go down to the river, he may have gone there to retrieve water." Lexa ordered, "I will see if he accompanied Clarke to the cliffs. Let me know what you find."

The guards nodded and left to continue their search. Lexa exited the camp and started towards her destination. _It would make sense if Clarke brought him with her, she had promised to stay with someone_. Lexa thought, however a few minutes later as she came to the edge of the trees and the large boulder that Clarke usually sat one while here there was no one in sight.

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows and walked further down the path, still no one.

Then it hit her, something was wrong. She didn't know to describe the feeling, but it had slammed into her with enough force to take the breath away from her. Immediately she ran back to camp. As soon as she entered, the now nearly frantic brunette headed directly towards her tent.

 _Maybe she came back. She has to be here, she just went for a walk. She's here._

She burst through the front tarp of the tent to find it exactly how she left it. Empty.

Lexa's heartbeat quickened. She turned back around and began to look around the tent with hope that she might find something, anything that would lead to Clarke. As she rounded the corner of the tent, Lexa's keen senses noticed some of the leaves under feet were abnormally darker than the rest. As she leaned down to inspect the leaves in question, her anger quelled within her.

The blood on the leaves was already thick, which meant it had been there at least a few hours. Lexa tracked the blood spots to their end at the base of a tree. She pulled back from branches and vegetation that seemed to have been placed there to reveal a congealed puddle of dark blood.

Her fists balled and she turned back to camp. She was furious and panicked and fearful. Where was she? What happened?

Lexa began to search the whole camp, not stopping to answer questions from people who noticed her clearly disheveled state. Clarke wasn't in camp. Lexa then turned her attention towards the temporary settlements for the other Clan leaders, more specifically the one for Ice Nation.

She was about to explode with anger as she strode through the lines of shelters. Lexa turned a corner and spotted wavy, ink black tresses contrasted against white and gray clothing walking into camp from one of the sides.

Lexa sprinted towards the woman, her blade already unsheathed. Within only a few moments Lexa had the woman thrown up against a nearby tree, her grip around the woman's wrists and her blade pressing into porcelain flesh.

"Where is she?" Lexa growled through bared teeth. The woman let out a strangled laugh and Lexa increased the pressure of her blade.

"Now, now Commander. I wouldn't do that if I were you." Sura spoke. "If you my guards do not hear back from me within a certain amount of time, you will delivered with your precious Sky Girl's head."

Lexa tensed, but didn't loosen her hold on the woman. "So help me if you have even laid a finger on her, I will carve your mouth into a permanent smirk." She threatened, "What have you done with her."

"Don't worry Lexa. Clarke is perfectly fine, she may be a little immobile at the moment, but I assure you she still breathes for the time being."

It took all of Lexa's waning self-control not to slit the bitch's throat right then and there, but she needed to save Clarke. She could be anywhere and Sura was the only one who knew where.

Lexa shoved away from her, the blade still pointed towards the other woman. "Take me to her. _Now_."

Sura nodded and smiled before turning around to walk away, Lexa grabbed her arm and pressed the knife to her back, "Give me your weapons, and tell your guard to show his face and do the same."

Sura slowly reached to her belt and drew out a knife, then three more that were hidden throughout her clothing. The Ice Queen called for her guard who came out from behind a tree a few yards away and threw his weapons to the ground.

Lexa took hold of the Queen's blades and pushed her forward towards the guards. She held two blades at the backs of the people as they guided her through the forest. Lexa knew this was probably a trap, she could feel it in her bones, but she needed to find Clarke. She knew the girl could handle herself, but that still didn't stop the feeling that she needed to save her. They would figure out a plan to get out of this. She didn't know what Sura's game was, what she was planning to do, but right now all of her focus was on getting to Clarke even if that meant letting herself get captured in the process.

Almost an hour passed before Lexa saw that they were coming to a clearing in the forest. Once through the last line of trees she saw familiar blonde hair and blue eyes that were _alive_ staring back at her.

"Clarke," she said with a short sigh of relief.

She was so flooded with relief that she didn't notice the pained expression in the girl's eyes and the muffled cries of warning coming from her. In the split second moment, her focus wasn't on them both of her hostages had moved out of reach. She felt someone to her back, but before the Commander to swing around to her attacker she felt the stinging pain of a needle and a cool rush through her veins before her body became so incredibly heavy.


	14. Chapter 14

A sudden splash of cold water jolted Lexa awake. Her vision quickly regained itself and she was met with the Ice Queen sitting before her. "Sorry for the sedative, love. It was one of the many things we traded with the Mountain Men. I couldn't take any risks in you interrupting the show."

Lexa tried to move, but to no avail. She took in her current position, she was sitting on a log in the clearing her wrists and ankles bound with rope and a metal chain wrapped itself around her chest and torso; the other end secured to an old metal grate on a cement block. Things like these were scattered around the forest, remnants of the world before the war.

Lexa's body was still recovering from the sedative. She tried to lunge towards the woman sitting before her, but her muscles failed to work, they were too weak and she only managed to get off of the log before they collapsed under her. Sura laughed at her attempt and Lexa growled in frustration.

"Your determination is admirable Commander," one of the guards grabbed Lexa by the shoulder and pulled back into a sitting position, "but you will not be able to stop this."

Lexa slammed her shoulder into the guard's side causing him to stumble and curse. He then proceeded to back hand her across the face. Lexa hissed in pain and felt the skin of her cheek break open just enough for a trickle of blood to run down her jaw. The guard was about to strike her again when Sura ordered, "Nou! (Stop!)"

The guard halted, his closed fist raised. "Not yet."

Sura moved from her position and the guard backed away. Lexa followed Sura's movements as she walked over to where Clarke was still tied up. Lexa met Clarke's gaze and she felt like she wanted to cry out; her jaw tightened and her anger grew and she saw the wound on the blonde's head, the dried blood that stained her cheek and golden hair. Despite her muscles still recovering, Lexa used all her strength to lunge towards them, only gaining another irritating laugh from Sura as she moved around Clarke.

"I am going to rip you apart piece by piece!" Lexa yelled.

"Such full and dangerous threats, too bad they will soon be as empty as I'm going to make these beautiful blue eyes." Once Sura touched Clarke face, Lexa felt her insides burst from rage.

"Don't you dare touch her!" the Commander screamed.

Clarke still had the cloth gag tightly around her mouth as she watched the exchange. She couldn't believe Lexa was here, let alone in the same predicament that she was in. _She has a plan_. Clarke thought. _She always has a plan_. Sura was tracing the outside of the cloth with her fingers and Clarke pulled her face away.

Sura moved her fingers and removed the gag and Clarke took a deep breath and met Lexa's gaze which instantly turned into a soft look of complete concern. "Are you okay Clarke?" the Commander said.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she nodded her head towards the woman next to her, "just make sure when you get out of that she's the first one to go."

Lexa smirked at that, even in this situation Clarke still managed to be, well… Clarke; just as stubborn and determined as ever. Lexa read the undertones of Clarke's gaze; there was complete trust there, a trust that she would get them both out of this alive. However, it was becoming more and more evident that if they were going to do that then they needed to play this smart and not brutish.

"Why are you doing this? If you wanted us dead why go through all this trouble?" Lexa asked.

"You honestly think I want you dead?" Sura laughed and moved away from Clarke. _Good, keep her focused on you_.

Sura stepped up just beyond the length of the chain, "I don't want you dead, not until you've suffered like I have. I thought I had succeeded in that with Costia," she turned to look at Clarke, "but apparently I was wrong."

"So this is revenge? What did I ever do to you to make you want to do this?" Lexa questioned, she wanted to know, if Costia's death and now Clarke's current position were truly about revenge, she needed to know why. This question, however, seemed to switch something with the Ice Queen. She had been so collected up until this point, but now she was starting to break.

"Don't act so innocent Lexa! You took everything from me; I'm only making things even. I'm taking what you care about most. I'm going to make you watch as death takes her from you." Sura then moved to where Lexa's knives laid on one of the logs and took out her most prized blade. Sura ran her fingers the length of the metal, then turned back to Lexa, "You murdered the one I loved, the one I was going to spend the rest of my days with. I was satisfied with your pain when I sent you that pathetic girl's head. Not only did her death prove fruitful for war, but it sated my need to avenge the one you took from me."

She started moving back towards Clarke, twisting the point of the blade into the pad of her index finger as she spoke. Lexa watched her every move and her pulse quickened with every step closer and she saw Clarke's eyes train on the blade and her breathing quicken.

"Then I saw the photos from that that fool Emerson sent me." She looked over her shoulder to Lexa, "Thank you, by the way for taking care of that for me. He had always been such an annoying little flea." She said it so nonchalantly, and then turned back to Clarke. "I saw you with her; the way you looked at her, the way you longed to love her."

Sura placed the edge of the blade on Clarke's jacketless triceps and, with barely any pressure, ran it over the soft skin; never breaking it as she went. Clarke was silent, but tensing as she watched the blade go over her arm, true fear making her throat feel incredibly dry. "The look on your face reminded me of how she used to look at me, my love, and I knew that I had gotten it wrong before." She moved the blade to Clarke's neck and held it at her artery before meeting Lexa's eyes with a steely, unmerciful gaze. "I want you to watch the life drain from the one you love. Wamplei kom thauz kodon. Death by a thousand cuts, and I'm going to enjoy watching your pain as you can do _nothing_ to save her."

Lexa's eyes widened and she shot up, moving forward until the chain around her was digging into her. "No!" she screamed. Sura moved the blade back to Clarke's right triceps and dug it into the soft muscle, Clarke cried out in pain. She then moved her icy blue eyes to watch Lexa scream and flail. She moved the blade torturously slow down the blonde's upper arm as blood pooled around the opening, fleshy wound. After a few inches she stopped the blade and pulled it away from the girl.

Lexa's anger was getting the best of her and any plan she had previous had was clouded with the flare of her nostrils and the ragged heat of her breathing. "I didn't kill your lover you psychotic girl! If I did I would've made sure you died with her!"

Sura rounded on Lexa and slammed the blunt grip of her own blade into her cheek sending her stumbling back; she felt the blood coat her tongue. "Don't lie to me." Sura's words were shaky. She came a bit too close to the brunette then, her anger breaking her collection even further. Lexa took advantage and charged the woman only to have the chain be drawn shorter by a guard, who had come up from the side, just before she was able to hit the Ice Queen. Out frustration Lexa spat the blood in her mouth at Sura's face, the dark red spattering across the woman's neck.

Clarke and Lexa both smiled at the Queen's response to it, that is until the woman in question started back towards the tied up blonde and quickly and deeply dragged the knife across Clarke's hip. Clarke instantly screamed at the sudden pain, she felt the knife crash into her hip bone and scrap away until it was ripped out of her.

Lexa became silent; she couldn't let her anger get control like that again. She needed to keep Sura as collected as possible; the woman was like a series of trip wires, just waiting for some poor unfortunate soul to cross blindly through her emotional spectrum. She couldn't bear seeing Clarke tortured like this and bullying through the situation was only going to make things worse. The thing was, however, that Lexa truly did not know who Sura was talking about.

Sura was physically shaking now, Clarke's blood from the blade started running down her pale arm as she spoke, "I know you killed her! Our clans were at war, did you really think one of our spies wouldn't tell us what happened? That the Maunon wouldn't have sent us photos of you taking command? Of you killing my beloved in that savage ceremony of yours?"

 _Oh_.

Was all that echoed through Lexa's mind as she processed this and drew the memories of the day she became Commander back to her. The war of the 12 Clans was in full swing and her predecessor had led a group of warriors to raid an Ice Nation stronghold; they had gotten intel that captured soldiers were being held there as well as stockpiles of food and weapons. Little did they know that it was all a setup, the group had been ambushed and one Azgeda warrior pierced the former Commander through the throat.

Tradition holds that if a Commander was killed, their killer would be captured and their life taken by whomever the Heda's spirit chose to complete the process of taking position. Lexa had known what she would have to do, and she took the woman's life without hesitation.

"I didn't know she was yours. She killed our Heda, so I did what I must." Lexa said softly, trying not cause another outburst. Sura was still shaking, and took a few steps towards the chained brunette.

"Do you even know her name? Did you even bother to ask it before you slit her throat?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but far sharper than the blade in her hand.

Lexa felt a small amount of sympathy for the woman, even though her own understanding of the situation came at hands of her because of this awful situation. All Lexa could do was shake her head 'no' in response.

There was silence for a few beats, only broken by Clarke's breathing. Lexa broke the silence, maybe she could reason with her, sympathize with her, calm her down. "What was her name?" she said as she caught the woman's gaze, trying to focus her attention.

"Mira," Sura spoke the name so softly either girl could barely hear her. Lexa watched as Sura's expression changed, her mind seeming to go to another place; another life and she was about to continue the conversation. However, the moment of solidarity, of hope, was soon shattered as the memories seemed to snap one of the wires.

Sura moved with purpose away from Lexa, crossing the short distance to the pole where Clarke was still tied; the blood flowing from her wounds had begun to slow. Lexa couldn't see the dark haired woman's face, but watched as Clarke's expression hardened with anticipation and the Commander began tugging at the rope that bound her hands.

"Her name was Mira," the tension of the words was palpable, "My beautiful Mira, I will never be able to see her eyes so full of life ever again. Feel her touch. Hear her voice."

Clarke gulped as she watched white knuckles tighten around the blade, "You took that from me. I can't bring her back, but I can fulfill what she was trying to do. She was loyal to our leaders, fought for our cause to take the Woods Clan. I'm going to break you Lexa, I'm going to take your Clan. I'm going to take your spirit and make sure that it never finds another host. I'm going to make you feel the pain and the weakness that you caused me, and shatter you to the point that you won't have a will to live anymore."

Sura raised the blade to Clarke's chest and pressed the edge into her skin, just below the collarbone. Clarke's gaze met Lexa's as the pain of the cut sunk in and Lexa met with it such apology and unstated words that she hoped Clarke would understand.

She wasn't going to mean any of it. She was running out of options and she needed to get the focus away from Clarke no matter what she had to do, she wasn't going to let Clarke be killed because of something she unknowingly caused. She only hoped the blonde leader would understand and forgive her for her words.

"If that's what you want then you have the wrong person." Sura stopped dragging the dagger and hurt and confusion ran across Clarke's face. Lexa's green eyes never left those blue one's she loved getting lost in so much, and as her words were spoken her eyes were saying the complete opposite; while her hands continued to work the ropes.

"She isn't the one I care for. You know I betrayed her, I've only been using her ever since she burned 300 of my people."

Sura turned around, her blade still lightly embedded in Clarke's chest, and looked at the brunette quizzically. There was a moment that passed while the Azgeda Queen studied Lexa; Clarke watched the exchange, she had read Lexa's motives, known that words were distractions but that didn't stop them from hurting to an extent.

Now that Lexa had Sura's attention so she needed to keep it. "You're lying to me." The Queen stated dryly.

"No, I'm not. The only reason I have kept her and her people alive is because it's good strategy. You know all about that." Sura pulled the blade from Clarke, "They have technology we do not, they have medicine that helped us. They had what we needed to defeat the Mountain. That was all the alliance was, politics and war, nothing more."

Lexa put on her best fake smirk, "and it didn't hurt that she has a pretty face."

That gained a smirk from Sura and Lexa's heart broke as she saw the look on Clarke's face. _Please understand, please know I don't mean it. I'm going to save your life, even if it means you hate me after it_.

"Say it." Sura broke the silence, "Tell her that you don't love her." The smirk only grew on the woman's face, waiting to hear the words.

Lexa's breath halted in her throat and she swallowed it back down. _Please forgive me Clarke_.

Apologetic green met hurt and glistening blue as the radical lie left her lips, "I do not love you."

There was a shaky breath that left Clarke, but the look on Sura's face was that of sadistic wonderment. "You are a terrible liar when it comes to love Lexa, and hearing that pain those words caused you will only make this that much more satisfying."

Then, Sura turned back to Clarke and dug the blade back into the girl's should and ripped it down her chest. Rage and pain filled screams echoed above the woman's vengeful laugh.


	15. Chapter 15

Lexa was seeing red; all of this had gone on long enough.

Clarke's pain filled screams rang out across the clearing while Sura moved the blade across her chest. The Commander's adrenaline had been steadily growing this whole time, but now with screaming and laughing filing her ears and the smell of blood coursing through her airways, it exploded.

With one quick look around the clearing, Lexa let her warrior instincts take hold as she memorized the position of everything around her. Her eyes were dark with rage and she locked them on Sura. Lexa gritted her teeth, clenched her jaw, and tensed her figure as she wretched both of her shoulders up and her bound wrists above her head and in front of her.

She did not scream, but the gruesome cracking of her shoulders dislocating reverberated over all the other sounds. Lexa sucked in a large breath of air in to keep her vision in tact as the pain enveloped her. The guard whom she hit in the stomach before came at her, but with her muscles still high on chemical strength she swung her tied fists at him once he came into the range of the chain. She made contact with his jaw and the guard stumbled back allowing her the split second to pop one of her shoulders back into place before reaching out towards the knife that was sheathed at his waist.

Her endorphins spiked again when she had the hilt firmly resting against her palm. _Save her_ , chanted through the Commander's mind as she pulled the blade from the guard and slashed it across his throat. Maneuvering the knife between the ropes, Lexa sliced through them with ease before she heard footsteps crackling against the foliage of the forest floor. Without hesitation she twisted her torso around and let the blade fly through the air like an arrow until it connected with its bullseye on the man's forehead.

Lexa turned her attention back to the screams that hadn't ceased. Sura was watching her, cold eyes locked on the Commander as her hand continued to work the blade in Clarke's skin. She had moved from the blonde's chest to her thigh and was dragging the knife up through ripping, blood soaked denim.

Clarke was losing too much blood, she knew that. Her head and eyes were heavy with oxygen loss, her entire body burned with pain. _She has a plan, she always does_. Clarke reminded herself as she forced her head up to look in the direction of the brunette. As soon as those darkened green eyes met her own, she knew she had to hold on just a little bit longer.

After giving a reassuring look to Clarke, Lexa reached down and ripped off the rope at her ankle. Sura was laughing at this point never looking away from the escaping Commander. She was going to enjoy this. Lexa turned her back to Sura; it was as if the woman was waiting for her to free herself. Lexa loosened the chain around her chest and stomach just enough to slip out of it; she eyed her other blades that were on a log between the two women.

As soon as Lexa was free, Sura dug the knife deeper into the muscle of Clarke's thigh causing another broken scream to release from the bleeding girl's throat. Lexa sprinted forward grabbing the knives on her way. Within a heartbeat she was in front of Sura one of her blades slicing the pale skin of the woman's cheek before Sura moved around her.

"Pity, you just had to ruin my plans didn't you?." The smirk widened on Sura's face, "I'll still enjoy killing you nonetheless."

Sura lunged at Lexa with the bloody blade in her hand. Even though she is a part of a monarchy, the warrior tradition still stands in the Ice Nation and Lexa knew the woman can be deadly.

Sura lashes out at Lexa, the blade nearly slicing the skin of her neck before the Commander dodged and threw her own blades towards the Ice Queen. They are more equally matched then either of them thought; it's like they are in a deadly tango of weapons and blood. Blades met flesh of both women, fists connected with bone, and each is fueled by a differently motivated adrenaline rush.

However, Lexa isn't in the game of drawing this out; the woman she loves is bleeding out, tied to a pole besides her. She needs to end this, quickly, even though she would love nothing more than to kill Sura just as slowly as she has been torturing Clarke but she knows she doesn't have that luxury.

Sura's anger is brimming as the Commander continues to evade her attacks and Lexa uses that to her advantage. The Ice Queen gabs her blade forward directly at Lexa's chest, but the Commander catches the edge in between the two blades she wields. Sura staggers for a second as the momentum she put into the advance is thrown back on her, but it's enough for Lexa to take advantage.

Lexa twists her wrists so the grip Sura has on the blade loosens enough for the brunette to throw all three blades to their feet. Lexa then grabs Sura's wrist and pulls her forward, moving her own body so that Sura is pressed against her back then uses all of the strength her injured shoulders will allow to thrust the Ice Queen up over the brunette's body and slam her back into the dirt.

Sura was disoriented for a moment at the sudden shift of position and the blur that her vision became when her head connected with the ground. Before she had a chance to react with a counter she felt harsh metal pierce the thin layer of flesh on her hands and she screamed.

Lexa was on top of her, the Commanders knees in her thighs and her two hands gripping blades that were protruding from Ice Queen's hands. Blood pooled around the blades and Sura was trapped at the will of the Commander.

Lexa's intensity never wavered as she pushed the blades further through the woman's hands; she felt as the metal passed through soft flesh then entered the harder soil of the forest floor. Satisfied that the vengeful woman wasn't going anywhere, Lexa reached for her prize blade that was still coated in Clarke's blood that was now mixed with her own due to the cuts it had made on her arms.

"You do not deserve a quick death." Lexa seethed as her grip tightened on the blade, "I hope your love will forgive you for your weakness in seeking revenge."

Without another word, Lexa raised the gem crusted hilt of the blade and centered the point on Sura's chest. The Commander took a breath, pulled the blade into the air, and plunged it directly into the Ice Queen's heart. Sura's eyes widened and took in one last breath before it was sucked right back out of her and those Icy blue eyes grew dull.

Lexa heaved a breath as the light died from the woman, and then she heard a strangled sound come from beside her. Instantly, Lexa was standing before Clarke, leaning down and cutting the rope at her ankles then the one above her. Clarke collapsed into the Lexa as she became free, her body was drained of energy, however as soon as she felt the warm heat coming off of Lexa's body she clung to it.

They fell to their knees when Clarke collapsed and Lexa let the blonde bury her face into the fabric of her shirt. Lexa pulled Clarke close to her, wrapping her arms tightly around the bleeding girl and began running her hand over the blonde's back.

Clarke wasn't going to cry, she hadn't the entire time during this torture, but as soon as Lexa starting rubbing her back in reassurance Clarke couldn't help it. She sobbed into the other girl's slightly swollen shoulder and Lexa moved her hand up into Clarke's blonde curls. The Commander placed a kiss to the top of her head and pulled the girl even tighter.

"Yu klir, yu klir," she whispered into the girl's hair, "Your safe Clarke. It's over."

She repeated herself over and over again for several moments until the sobbing stopped. Clarke pulled away and met Lexa's eye, in a way making sure that it was truly over. Lexa kissed her forehead, and then pressed her own against it closing her eyes. Once she reopened them, she saw the wounds that covered Clarke.

"We need to get you back to camp; you have lost too much blood already." Lexa looked around the clearing and spotted one of the guard's horses tied up to a tree a few yards into the tree line. "Can you stand?" Lexa asked, concerned, Clarke nodded in response and Lexa slowly stood bringing the girl with her.

She sat Clarke on one of the logs and went to retrieve the horse. Once sitting, Clarke took a deep breath wincing at the pain in her chest. She looked over to Sura's lifeless body; she didn't feel any sympathy for the woman. All of this was done out of a maddening revenge, even if it was born out love; this was the weakness that love could cause.

Lexa returned with the horse and carefully helped Clarke up onto its back before climbing up behind her. She didn't bother checking to see if she had left anything behind, her only priority was getting Clarke to safety and getting her wounds tended too. The ride back to camp was quiet, but not awkward or uncomfortable just filled silent determination.

They were almost back at camp when Lexa felt Clarke begin to slump and her concern combined with mass amounts of dread and anxiety. "Clarke," she asked, her voice trembling, she got no response, "Clarke!" she said a little louder. She took one of her hands off the reigns and lightly shook the girl.

"Hmm?" Clarke said her voice groggy and heavy as she tried to straighten her posture.

"You need to stay awake Clarke, we are almost at camp." Lexa pushed the horse to go faster.

"My head feels so heavy, I'm so tired." Clarke mumbled, her voice taking on a more airy tone.

"I know love, but you need to stay with me ok? I need you keep your soul right where it is."

Clarke's lips upturned into a very weak smile, "That's my line." Her voice was barely there and Lexa could only explain the feeling in her gut as fear. She couldn't lose her, she couldn't.

Lexa felt Clarke slump into her again, she could see the camp entrance and hear the people bustling inside. The Commander pushed the horse at full speed and didn't stop until they were right in front of the healer's tent. Guards were at her side instantly, but she ordered them to take Clarke to Nyko immediately. As the men were carefully, but quickly pulling the unconscious blonde from the horse, Lexa heard voices come running up beside her.

She heard the voices, but her ears were ringing she wasn't paying attention to the frantic words besides her as she watched Clarke disappear behind the veil of the tent. She was only taken out of her worry when her already painful shoulder were shook roughly. She looked into the eyes of a concerned mother who was trying to get her attention.

"What's going on? What happened? Is she okay?" Abby was screaming at her. Lexa was frozen for second, at this moment she didn't know what to do. All she could reply with was, "I'll explain when she's safe. You need to help them save her." and both Lexa and Abby pushed into the tent.

 _You can't die, not now. Come back to me Clarke, I'm begging you._

She slowly opened her eyes to the dimly lit tent she had come to call her second home.

Clarke felt like she had just been thrown off of a cliff, her entire body ached. She moved one of her hands and felt the soft furs underneath her and took a deep breath as the day's memories came back to her.

She moved her blue eyes over to look at the hand that rested on her right one and followed it up to the downturned face of the woman who had saved her. "You're an idiot." She said softly, her lips curving into a smile as Lexa's head popped up with surprise. The brunette's featured instantly softened with relief as she exhaled. The words seemed to finally register and the Commander raised an eyebrow, "I see you're back to your normal self already, but how am I an idiot?"

Clarke's smirk only grew, "The Commander of the Woods Clan, leaving camp without any guards? What happened to not letting emotions dictate our judgment?" Clarke teased.

Lexa scoffed, "Oh I don't know maybe a stubborn blonde was the cause of it all and she impairs my ability to think straight."

"Don't you hate people like that?" Clarke winked.

Lexa let out a small laugh and leaned forward, placing a hand on Clarke's cheek and rubbing the pad of her thumb over the soft skin, "Normally, but I find myself in love with this one."

Clarke smiled and leaned into the touch, but her eyes turned teasing again, "I thought love was weakness Commander?"

Lexa flashed a smile and leaned forward just enough so their noses were touching, "It doesn't have to be." Lexa leaned forward a bit more and pressed a soft kiss to Clarke's lips.

"I'm sorry," Lexa whispered as their lips parted. "This entire situation was because of something I did and I-"

Lexa was cut off with Clarke's fingers against her lips, "You couldn't have predicted this would happen so don't apologize. I'm going to be okay."

"I-"

Clarke increased the pressure of her fingers, "If you honestly feel like you need to make it up to me. I think I can come with some things." Clarke smiled devilishly and Lexa rolled her eyes.

Clarke's gaze turned softer and she moved her hand up to cup the Commander's face, "but for right now, honestly the only thing I want to you do is go get some food, come back in here, get into bed, and never stop telling me you love me."

Lexa smiled, "I think I can manage that."

Lexa kissed the recovering blonde again before getting up to fulfill the first request. As she opened the entrance to the tent she paused and looked over shoulder, "I love you."

Clarke felt a bright smile form on her lips, "I love you too," she said, "but next time could at least tell someone where you're going?"


End file.
